11/27/2009

Busy, busy, busy.

Life got really hectic for a few days, and it's all I can do to squeeze in a few hours of sleep.
I shoved myself through days, going to class, working, and writing my novel.
I squeezed a test in early and I missed my Yoga flow as a result.
I rode with my family to my grandma's on Tuesday, after attending class, working, and hastily packing. I slept some on the way there, but didn't sleep nearly enough. I wrote a few thousand words that day, and watched a Thanksgiving and a Christmas movie with my sister.
The next day, my sister and I decorated my grandma's sun porch with Christmas stuff and I wrote another few thousand words.
Thanksgiving day, I woke up at 9:30 to my uncle waking me up by putting his dog in the bed with me, though she just snuggled up to me. I woke up and caught thirty minutes of the parade before going back to bed. I woke up again, got ready for the day, and made it out too late to see the "hot guy" that was sitting in the living room. I hung out with my cousins all day, made my mom cry, cried myself, watched football, played Frisby, fell asleep on the couch after writing a thousand or so words, and woke up to watch more TV with the family and laugh at my mom's snoring. We drove home last night, and I sat with my sister while mom went to the gas station. After moving to my room and putting Snow White in, I wrote more, and eventually broke 50,000 words. I'm not finished with my novel yet, but I'm still very excited.
I need to go now so that I can do some Spanish and get back to writing.

I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!

Word Count: 50, 711

11/22/2009

Oh, November.

So I have been struck by how fast November actually flew by.
I updated my Myspace blog after letting it sit there for ten days.
It seems that I did the same exact thing to this poor little blog.
Sorry!!

Okay, so obviously I've been incredibly busy.
I don't know how I've found the time for the internet, buuuut whatever.

... I honestly don't have a whole lot to say.
Work is going well, but we're getting crazier and I don't handle that well after sitting by myself for half of the day. We'll see how I handle today, though.
I bought "New Moon" tickets! My best friend Dani and I are seeing it on Monday.
Speaking of Dani, she and my friend John helped me put my Christmas lights up...
I know, I know! It's early, but we caught the Christmas Bug!
I'm going out of town for Thanksgiving, and leaving on Tuesday. It's taken a lot of work to get everything rearranged in order to get out of town. I have classes on Wednesday, but we won't be here, so I'm taking a test on Monday instead of Wednesday. I also had to talk to my manager at work about my schedule on Tuesday and get that fixed.
All I need to do is get through the next two days, and I'll have two days to do whatever.
I can't wait to see my grandma, and decoarate her house on Wednesday, and stuff my face on Thursday.

I think that's all for right now...
I'm going to go eat and watch "Big Daddy," and maybe study for my History test tomorrow.

Word Count: 35, 204

I hope all of ya'll's novels are coming along nicely!
Good luck on hitting the 50K!

11/14/2009

It's been forever.

Time has a rediculously annoying habbit of flying by.
I don't know where the past few days went, or why they had to go by so quickly.
I've had a hard time keeping up...
I had two History quizzes last week, a World Lit test that I studied for and took, worked every night except for Monday and Thursday, and random Spanish stuff that I needed to do.
I didn't write at all on Wednesday or Thursday, which made me sad; I left the LeCrane family hanging for two days!
I did write like a maniac yesterday, though; I wrote a little before work, and a little after my friend Cliff left that night.
Haven't written any today, but in my defense I haven't had the time.
Might soon, though.
Anywho!
I suppose that's it.

Word Count: 20,059

11/09/2009

Encouraging.

The past couple of days, the first friend that I sent my novel to has immersed himself within it's pages long enough to finish the first thirteen or fourteen pages of my ever-growing novel.
"I like it," he says. "I'm excited to read it."
This is part of what keeps me writing.
That, and I've found a place within my rough spot to continue writing off of.

I didn't write any more the other night; I was done, and contemplated deleting the thousand or so words that I wrote.
Instead of doing that, I slept on it and came back to my computer last night refreshed and ready to go.
I added another two thousand or so words last night while my cousins and sister played Rock Band for the Wii.
I did take pause a few times and play with them; I'm in love with that game, and didn't want to miss out.
I'm happy with what I've written so far, though I know it could be much better.
But editing it is what December is all about!

Word Count: 15, 379

<3

11/07/2009

I just don't want to.

Kimbra says:
Write these next few thousand words for me : (
Rayne says:
Sure, here you go...
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...
Kimbra says:
BRILLIANT!

This is about how I'm feeling right now.
I don't want to write the rest of my 3,000something words.
I think it's because I'm in the "I have to do this" instead of "I want to do this" mindset.
I mean, don't get me wrong; I love writing. I love the feeling of having these characters and their small world that I'm responsible for, and I love seeing my babies come to life.
But I'm in a rough spot that I find myself trying to plow through.
I don't want any of these characters to be left behind and fall off of the page's surface, so I have to figure out how I'm including all of them still.
Le sigh.

On another note, I bought a 1 year old $300 laptop from a student that sold it through Craigslist.
It has everything that I need, except for a functioning internet, which I shall take care of tomorrow before work.
I've wanted a laptop for years now, but haven't had enough until now to purchase one.
The feeling of elation that I felt upon buying it was amazing.

I suppose that's all for today.
But to plowing through tonight's words!

<3

Bad day, but with good intentions.

This morning, I recieved a text message at 7:30.
Annoyed, I opened it, thinking that it was work or something important.
My eyes met the words "I see you, do you see me?"
These words were sent from a random number that I've never seen before.
I didn't know what to think, do or say; I was half asleep.
"Yup. Clear as day," I respond, trying to be apathetic about the situation.
"Do you know who this is?" they send back.
"No idea. But I'm hoping that you have a good reason for waking me up."
This person said "thank you" at one point, and "good night my love" at another.
I don't remember the specifics because I was definitely still trying to sleep; I had two hours left to sleep, and there was no way I was missing out on them.
Needless to say, this text messaging situation caused my day to get off to a bad start. I felt cranky for the rest of the day, and annoyed at almost every little thing.
The History test during class today, that I conveinantly forgot to study for, didn't help things.
I finally figured out who texted me, and it turns out that I work with him.
I wanted to yell at him. What was he doing waking me up two hours before my alarm went off!?
I did text him earlier in the morning telling him that I didn't appreciate it, and that him giving me the run around about who he was was definitely a jerk move.
I came home eventually, napped for an hour, and worked from 3-9 tonight.
After arriving home, I showered to try to get rid of my funk, and it worked for the most part.
I'm worried about my mom as of late, but that's an entirely different blog post.

I did manage to get some work done on my novel, though not as much as I would have liked.
Did you know that tomorrow is a "double your usual word count in a day" day?
You take your total, divide it by six, and that's how many words you should write tomorrow.
I don't know whether to be excited or freak out.
A combination of both would probably be the correct reaction.

Word Count: 11,378
Words Needed For Tomorrow: 3,792
Exciting!!!!

<3

11/05/2009

Oh, Life, How I Love Thee.

Bad Things:
-- I keep staying awake until around 3 a.m., even when I'm fully aware that I have class at 8 a.m. the next morning.
-- Because of the aforementioned circumstance, I didn't wake up for classes at all yesterday.
-- As a result of not waking up yesterday, I didn't turn in my History quiz and recieved a zero.
-- My brain wants to turn itself off, but I know I won't sleep for another hour.
-- My desk is a flat-out mess.
-- I haven't played Super Mario Galaxy in days.

Good Things:
-- I somehow manage to get through a day, even if it starts off all wrong.
-- My professor was nice enough to grade my quiz once I proved to her that I didn't cheat by changing my answers to the ones she emailed the class. Awesome!
-- One of my best friends got married today!! I almost cried during the vows.
-- My desk being messy means that I'm actually getting writing/reading/homework done. Same for not playing Super Mario Galaxy Whoo!
-- I've become much closer to a few friends recently, and I'm grateful.
-- I emailed my novel (when it was 11 pages) off to another one of my friends, though I haven't heard his response to it... I'm hoping he works tomorrow so that I can ask him about it.

See how the good outweigh the bad?
This is why I love life:
For every bad circumstance or situation, something good will happen.
Lovely : )

Word Count: 10, 279.
Yay for FINALLY breaking 10K!!!

<3

11/03/2009

Dear Brain, thank you for the words!

So the start to my day was rather rough...
I woke up around 6:20 a.m., after not going to sleep until 3 a.m...
My abs, back, and chest were sore...
And I didn't go to World Lit. For the second time in a row.
I know, I know. I'm a bad person. But I loved that extra hour of sleep.
I made myself go to Spanish today, though, since we kind of had a test in there that I didn't study for because I may or may not have been writing and then chatting online with a couple of friends...
But it's okay! Don't fret! I think I did alright.
Or. I hope I did alright. We'll see.
I DID recieve the news that our speaking test isn't until the 17th, SO YAY!!!!
After class, I came home, tweaked my novel a bit and took a hour-and-a-half nap, and woke up to a text message from my good friend.
I got up, got dressed, and drove to Rosa's to eat lunch with her.
Lunch went well, and I'm really glad that we had that time to talk; we haven't had the chance in awhile.
After coming back home, I went with my dad to the Pawn shop to get my mom's computer out of it.
When I arrived home for the second time I settled in to write my novel.

I actually feel as if I got something DONE today!
It was kind of awesome realizing that I went for a considerable amount of time without getting interrupted every five minutes.
After writing, showering, and writing some more, I feel as if I'm at a good stopping point.
I sent my eleven-page novel to a friend from work, actually, and he said he liked it starting at the first page.
I feel good about that, but oh so very anxious about what he'll think of the rest of it (especially the more raunchy moments).
I don't think that I've reached a stopping point yet, but I need to do my hair, get some laundry done and prepare for classes tomorrow before even thinking about continuing.
I'm a bit apprehensive at the moment because I don't know what direction I want my novel to go in.
I guess I can write and see what happens? But in doing so I feel as if I'm inviting failure in by not following the original plan, and in deviating from said plan I may or may not get the 50,000 words.
We'll see where it goes... still in the thinking stages.

Word count: 5,633

Alright, I'm gone for tonight!
(Thank you Sheri for becoming my first follower! I was very excited to see that I actually had someone in that box! : D)

<3

11/02/2009

One Lazy, Yet Good, Day.

I started the day off by going to the two classes that I signed up for on the MWF days.
History seemed like a rapid-fire round as she went through slides, encouraged us to abbreviate what we can, and only write the "bold print." My mom called during this class, and I'm pretty sure I missed a couple of words, but oh well; I got so many other words that I think I'll be fine.
Yoga was intense; I don't remember having a class yet that made me sweat like today's did. We did several lunging poses, and a few balancing poses. The last one was the most intense: a handstand.
A HANDSTAND!?
Yes. Using a medicine ball to give us some support, I used my arms, pulled my abs in, and made the ball move in such a way that I was just on my tiptoes with my butt up in the air. I did that twice. Crazy, yet challenging enough to feel accomplished.
Afterward, I drove the long way to a Half Price Books, and ended up spending a good 45 minutes wandering through the shelves. I found the book that I'm reading for World Lit ("Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas" by James Patterson), a book called "The Unfair Sex" by Nina Farewell (pretty much how to deal with dates and guys, which is nice for somoene who definitely is out of practice), "An Abundance of Katherine's" by John Green, and "Definitely, Maybe" on DVD. All of that ran me about $14. Seems fair, I think.
I went to the Library afterward and printed off the necessary stuff for History, saw my friend Kimmi for a moment, and headed home after paying for the pages.
Upon arriving home, I got distracted by my computer for awhile, and ended up doing my History quiz two days early while watching "The Tyra Banks Show" with my sister.
After finishing my quiz, I napped for an hour and woke up feeling like a million bucks.
I've since added enough words to bring my novel's word count to 2,218, which is honestly very hard to believe considering the amount of NOISE that occurs in this living room (mom yelling out random things, dad's TV, my sister typing, and a cat meowing. Blah).
I honestly can't wait for a laptop. I need tranquility so that I don't get frustrated and STOP writing, which is pretty much what's happened for now.
I need to study for my Spanish test tomorrow, anyway.

I think I'm buying a Macbook Pro for around $700 instead of my sister's boyfriend's laptop; the guys I asked about it said that his isn't worth $500.

I know that I sound like I'm not enjoying this NaNoWriMo journey very much, but I promise that I am.
It's rediculously awesome to feel so good after accomplishing the words I've already accomplished.

I'm just frustrated that I can't be left alone long enough to accomplish more.
This too shall pass : )

Talk to ya'll tomorrow!

<3

A rough start to WriMo

Last night was Halloween night.
I spent my Halloween night at work attempting to get my exhausted body and mind to function.
Upon arriving home, I plopped myself down in my computer chair to await the start of National Novel Writing Month.
I ended up getting distracted by a boy, cookies, my sister, Winnie The Pooh, and online games. Before I knew it, it was two a.m. and I hadn't written a single word.
"Tomorrow," I promised myself. With that promise, I fell into a restful sleep.

Today was just as busy as yesterday.
I woke up, forced myself to shower, sat down at the computer and forced myself not to write; I didn't want to get into my novel and not find a stopping point.
I went to work, worked until around 8, got home, and was bothered since then by my sister to play "Super Mario Galaxy" with her.
Needless to say, I didn't get very much done. I DID write 500 words before she started playing and forced me to play along.
After losing my train of thought entirely, almost losing my novel at 800 words, and losing my mind to a sleepy haze, I've decided to call it a night.
Which is fine right now... I have 1,092 words written.
I'm not pleased with how distracted I was tonight.
I wanted to get much more written, and I'm angry that even though I explained NaNoWriMo to my family they don't seem to get it.
Oh well. I guess I just need to reexplain everything.
Again.

I talked to my sister's boyfriend earlier tonight, and he says that he'll sell me his laptop for $500.
I have... $400 right now, and I get paid on Thursday, so I'll definitely have enough for it.
It needs a new battery, though, and he needs to put Microsoft Word on it.
I'm hoping that with this laptop I can become a recluse on nights that I want to write and get much more done.
I just need November, dangit!
Just give me November to be a writing machine!

<3

10/31/2009

It's been long enough.

I haven't used this blog in awhile, so I'm not going to go back and tell you everything that happened within the past few months.
I WILL say that due to financial difficulties, I'm living back at mom's.
My sister just turned 19.
I got two Jury Duty summons for the same day and time, and got out of them by emailing a copy of my school schedule.
School and work have been rather busy and difficult as of late, but I still like them both.
I just had a VERY fun night taking part in a Bachelorette party, and went to a club while I was very out of it. It was fun, yet surreal and very weird at the same time.

I'm doing NaNoWriMo for November, which starts in fourteen minutes.
I'm so. very. nervous.
And very tired, so I probably won't start writing.
Or... I will, but only a little.
Or. A lot. We'll see.
I may have to set a word limit for tonight... haha.
This blog is actually to talk about my journey on the crazy trip that is NaNoWriMo, so you'll hear about that a lot.
I'll try to incorperate other aspects of my life so that it doesn't get too repetitive.
We'll see.

Okay, I think that's it.

<3

8/24/2009

When did this thing block pasting?

Really?
... How will I ever update?
The blogging process on here usually follows this sequence of events:
blog on Myspace, Copy, Paste on Blogger, and edit said blog to look nice and neat on this page.
Blah.

Anyway.
Onward, to the survey!
(that I stole from hayleyghoover).

1) What author do you own the most books by?
J.K. Rowling takes the cake (10 books), followed by a tie between James Patterson (Maximum Ride series) and Stephenie Meyer (Twilight series).

2) What book do you own the most copies of?
I used to have two copies of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone," but I got rid of the paperback one, so I only have one copy of the books that I own.

3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?
No. The fact that the word "of" wasn't between "both those" bothered me instead.

4) What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
If I were currently reading a book with one of those characters within it's pages, I could tell you. However, right now I'm sitting here attempting to think of the correct answer, and I haven't a clue.

5) What books have you read the most times in your life (excluding picture books read to children; i.e., Goodnight Moon does not count)?
I read "The Secret to Platform 13" by Eva Ibbotson three times before mom basically forced me to read something else. I've read Harry Potter 1-4 six times each, and I've read 5-7 twice each.

6) What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?
I honestly can't remember; how sad is this? : (

7) What was the worst book you've read in the past year?
I haven't read enough books this past year to pick one. I need to start reading again, yes?

8) What is the best book you've read in the past year?
I just finished reading "Along for the Ride" by Sarah Dessen, and I have to say that it was really good; I found it hard to put it down when I hit chapter two.

9) If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be?
"Skellig" by David Almond; it'll change your life.

10) What book would you most like to see made into a movie?
I honestly can't wait for "Harry Potter and the Dealthy Hallows." Other than that, nothing.

11) What book would you least like to see made into a movie?
"The Looking Glass Wars" by Frank Beddor; it wouldn't be a bad movie, but I don't want the good memories of the book to be tainted.

12) Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character: I can't remember any, though I'm sure I've dreamt about being at Hogwarts at least once before.

13) What is the most lowbrow book you've read as an adult?
Um. Unfortuantely, I don't fully grasp the concept of "lowbrow" when it comes to applying it to books I've read...

14) What was the most difficult book you've ever read?
"Running With Scissors" and "Dry" by Auguston Burroughs, followed by "A Million Little Pieces" and "My Friend Leonard" by James Fray, and of course "Go Ask Alice" (Anon.), because of the type of book they are; I suffered along with those writers as they faced their worst moments in their lives.
And any William Shakespeare book that I was forced to read in high school; I'm sorry, Bill, but I just don't get it.

15) What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you've seen?
I haven't seen any live, but I've seen movies of "Hamlet," "Romeo and Juliet," and "A Midsummer Night's Dream" (and those aren't obscure).

16) Do you prefer the French or the Russians?
French.

17) Roth or Updike?
I don't have a preference; the most I've read of them are excerpts in an English class.

18) David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?
I have no idea - I haven't read works by either of them.

19) Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer?
None of them; I'm sorry.

20) Austen or Eliot?
Austen!

21) What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
Lately, actually. I'm trying to make my way through "The Chronicles of Narnia," but I just can't seem to do it! (There is a good chance that I'm misunderstanding this question; it's 12:33 a.m., and my brain shut off at 10. Hah!)

22) What is your favorite novel?
I can't pick one, honestly. I took a minute to snap a picture of my smaller bookshelf (the first 2 1/2 shelves are favorites), and there are some that I had to leave at mom's.




23) Play?
N/A

24) Poem?
Probably something by Emily Dickenson, or Robert Frost.

25) Essay?
N/A

26) Work of nonfiction?
"Running with Scissors," even though it's an emotional trip every time I read it.

27) Who is your favorite writer?
Sarah Dessen, J.K. Rowling, Stephenie Meyer, and Maureen Johnson (just to name a few...).

28) Who is the most overrated writer alive today?
Good question.

29) What is your desert island book?
"The Chronicles of Narnia." I have all 7 books in one, and MAYBE I'll make some headway into it once I'm on a deserted island.

30) And... What are you reading right now?
"The Chronicles of Narnia" by C.S. Lewis. Other than that, nothing strikes my fancy, though I may reread "Skellig" again to see what that holds for me.

I know some of my answers leave much to be desired; I honestly wish I did have a favorite play, essay, or even poem.
I feel as though I've lead a fairly boring literary life.
My only hope is that my journeys into the world of the English Major will be coupled with a broadening of my literary knowledge.

8/05/2009

Today.

8/5 - Ask me how my day went.

Seriously, ask me.
No one, besides my loving mother, bothers anymore.
Is it that no one genuinely cares about my day?
Or that they're aware that I'll blog about it later on?
If it's the first one, how sad.
If it's the second, my blog isn't supposed to be a substitute for conversation.
I still like face-to-face, friendly conversation as much as the next person.
So try asking me how my day went, how I'm feeling, or how I view certain situations that take place, instead of waiting until later that day, or later on that week, to find out.
/rant.

My day today was a good one.
I woke up around 12:30, crawled out of bed, and started getting ready to go over to Kait's.I didn't head over there until around 1:40.
When I got there everyone seemed settled in, and "Full Metal Jacket" was playing on the TV with bold white subtitles underneath.
I sat down to talk with Kait, Raechel, and their friend David, and kept getting distracted by the subtitles.
Eventually Kait got distracted by them...
They didn't match the words that the characters spoke word for word; it was as if the person behind the keys got bored and just wanted to get the main words in.
Eventually we got bored with that, and since I spotted Disney Scene It we decided to play that.
Andrew Y. showed up right before that, so we had six people playing (Dylan, Kait, David, Raechel, Andrew, and I).
It was a good game, and I totally almost won; I got the question wrong because I haven't seen "Around the World in 80 Days" a million times.
Kait was the eventual winner, and got an easier question.
Blah!

Shortly after that I left to get my swimsuit, and a change of clothes for later, from the house.
When I arrived at Kait's for the second time everyone was in the pool, so I went ahead and got in right away.
Brandon showed up a few minutes later, and Sammi got there about thirty minutes later.
We all had a good time, and joked around quite a bit.
I got out before anyone else; I had familial visitation to get to eventually, and I wanted to get ready a bit beforehand.
Not long after I was finished getting ready, everyone else got out of the pool.
We visited for a bit longer downstairs, and I left (taking Raechel with me to take her home) in an attempt to beat the bad weather that looked as if it were heading our way.
I got lost in Raechel/Brandon's neighborhood, but was able to find my way out while on the phone with Brandon.

I arrived at mom's house shortly after and chilled with her for awhile.
Dad made steaks, so we got to pig out on steak, potatos, and corn.
Dylan was there, so I got to see him.
My aunt came over at one point to talk to mom.And, eventually, mom and I settled in her room to watch some TV, and I got to snuggle with my Kitty-Kitty for awhile.

I left her house at ten and came home.
I showered, and I'm definitely going to make a better attempt at getting my laundry inside.
It hasn't been a very productive day, or night, but at least it's better; no tears have been shed yet : )

OH!
I registered for classes!
I scheduled them all for during the day, and it looks to be an easy-ish semester.
That leaves my nights to be filled with work, and I am definitely asking for Saturdays off; my weeks will be so freakin' busy.

Mmkay...I'll update later next week.

<3

Yesterday was a Rough Day.

8/4 - Rough Day. (Written at night)

I finally managed to get into a good mood, and I'm hoping that it will last during the typing of this blog.

Last night I received the news that a good friend of mine passed away on Thursday.
His memorial service was scheduled for today at 10 a.m., and I had to be at work at 11.
In a frenzy, I sent messages to all three of my managers on facebook explaining the situation and asking if I could go in a bit late.I stayed awake until 2 o' clock in the morning waiting on a reply, and I didn't receive one.
This morning around seven thirty Carlton got back to me.
"I got your message. Whats up?"
In a half asleep haze I retold the story of my good friend passing away, that I wanted to go to his Memorial Service, and asked if there was a way that I could go in a bit later.
He didn't repond for twenty minutes, so I sent him another message explaining that all I really wanted was to be able to go and stay the entire time.
The next message I received said, "I got your shift covered, take the day off."
I said, "Are you sure?"
And he responded with "Yes. Go be with your friends : )"
"Okay. Thank you so very much."
After that, the sadness kicked in.
I managed to hold it back for a little while, forcing myself to get ready and focus on what needed to be done.
It's amazing that there are so many things that we're desensitised to, but Death never seems to be one of them...
Especially ones that hit closer to home than one would like.

Kimmi and I left the house at 9:30 in order to drive by my mom's house and retrieve my other black high heel (only I could manage to leave one shoe carelessly thrown into the back seat of my car...).
We drove to the church, and even though the atmosphere was a bit grim I wasn't sad.
I kept thinking "Maybe this is the wrong kid. Maybe it's not actually him."
Denial has to come at some point, right?
That was my point.
I didn't want it to be him.

Upon entering the church, the atmosphere became even more grim.
My brain stopped denying once I saw a frame matted into several small squares, each one containing pictures of our red-headed loved one.
I didn't want to go into the sanctuary - I had a good idea of what awaited, and at that point I wanted to turn back and pretend that this situation wasn't happening.
Kimmi lead the way though, and I followed.
A slideshow of Nemo's life was playing, accompanied by several beautiful pieces of music.
That kid looked the same all of his life, except for the fact that he was taller and more filled out in the recent pictures.
Kimmi and I were eventually joined by Mr. Short (our old band director), who sat to her left during the service.
Before the preacher spoke, an awesome song played about parrots and mimicking, and I'm not doing it justice at all, but the lyrics were amazing.
The pastor read a few scriptures, and letters from the family.
At some point a Bob Marley song came on, and I laughed; of course that song would play at his funeral.
Eventually the pastor read a letter that Cory "Nemo" wrote to himself.
The letter was filled with beautiful advice on how to be "a strong pillar," and how to make people happy.
He told himself not to treat women as objects of pleasure, but to look for a woman that will embrace everything about him and love him for it.
It moved me to tears; how could such a great guy pass away shortly before he turned nineteen?
They (his family) had copies of it available at the house for the after-service lunch, but I didn't attend so I didn't get one.
A third amazing-lyriced song played to conclude the service, and of course that moved me to tears.
I cried throughout the service; disbelief and the rush of emotions that came with missing him and never being able to see him again hit me hard.
Even though I hadn't seen him in forever I was aware that the option to see him was there; now, though, there isn't an option.

Afterward, Kimmi and I joined the other band-related people in a small group in the foyer, and talked a little while with them.
We eventually left and went to Subway to get some lunch, and even through that I wasn't quite right.
On the way home, we were both informed of how his death occurred.
Honestly, the way it happened was as shocking as finding out about it.

After Kimmi dropped me off at mom's she left for work, and I was left to run errands with my momma.
Amanda called and wanted to know if I wanted to hang out, and I said yes, but that it would have to be a little later.
Mom and I went to 7-Eleven for a drink for her, then to Walgreens to check on her medication.
I broke down while trying to park at 7-Eleven; talking about the Memorial service made it even more real than it already was, and by that point I had already fully realized what was going on.
We drove home so that I could change clothes, and afterward I drove mom out to her work, then to her bank.
After dropping her off at home I called Amanda and came back home to wait.

When Amanda showed up we chilled here for a bit, talking about Cory a little while and eventually moved onto other topics.
We also went to KFC, where I ate Mac n' Cheese and a biscuit, and she got a kid's meal.
We came back here for a bit, and she eventually had to leave to go see a movie with a friend.
I left shortly after to get Rachel and take her to class.

On the way there Rachel and I laughed and had a good time; by that point I was newly out of my funk and very tired indeed.
We walked accross the campus to her building, and I sat outside reading "The Chronicles Of Narnia" while she learned Math.
We had another fun ride home, and I dropped her off so that I could come home and eat the speghetti that Kimmi made for dinner.

The speghetti seemed to make everything better, even though I know it was a combination of Kimmi's company, relief that my day was finally winding down, and the speghetti.
We watched a little TV, then came upstairs to chillax on our computers.I need to check my laundry soon... Blah.

I consider myself very blessed to have such amazing friends, family and managers that are facebook friends, in my life.
Without ya'll today would have been infinitely more hard.

Good Memories About Cory:
- Hanging out with him (and our other friends) at his house. Whether I was watching him put CDs into his microwave and letting them fry (he spray painted one blue and silver and gave it to me... I don't know what happened to it), watching cartoon-gore episodes of "The Happy Tree Friends" that led to him making fun of me, watching he and the other boys play video games and get excited when they won, and making somewhat of a mess, we always had a good time.
- His sense of humor. He always had a joke on hand to make people laugh. I remember him calling me a "Grotsky little biotch," and on another occasion saying that I was so cute that he wanted to put me in his pocket and carry me around.
- His silly laugh.
- His ability to guess when my period was occuring; I still haven't figured out how he did that.
- He had a fascination with one particular plant, and grew some; he referred to the plants as "My babies," and was upset when his mother made him throw them away.
- Our band trip to Disneyworld. I hung out with him (and a large group of people) on the day that we were left to explore Disneyworld. We took pictures with Stitch, and rode a ton of rides. We got stuck on one side of the street by a parade that just ended up annoying us because we couldn't get around it. There was one point while we were on the buses that he snuck onto the girl's bus and we all pretended that he wasn't there. The parents eventually caught on, but let him stay anyway. I have a picture of him sleeping in Kait's lap : )

Even though losing him is hard, I know I (and everyone else in his life) were blessed with several good memories with him.
I'm grateful for the time that we spent together.
Rest in peace, Cory "Nemo" Young.
You'll be missed.

<3

8/03/2009

Rest In Peace.

A good friend of mine passed away on Thursday.
I was in band with him for two years, and we were very close for that duration.
He disappeared off of the face of the earth and lived his own life for awhile.
I saw him recently enough at my old job; he came in to turn in his application.
I should have gotten his number, and attempted to get back in touch; I was just so busy that the idea escaped me.
I didn't know that after that day I would never see him again.

I miss him, even though his place in my life disappeared long ago.
I miss hanging out with him and watching him put CDs into his microwave to watch them fry; he gave me one that was spray painted silver and blue, and it was one of the coolest things I had ever seen.
I miss his fascination with a particular plant, and shaking my head with a disapproving nature when I found out that he was growing it.
I miss him making fun of me for not liking the "Happy Tree Friends," and for being grossed out by the cartoon gore.
I miss watching he and a few other friends play video games, and watching them get pumped and excited when they won.
I miss hanging out at his house and having an all around good time.
I miss the stupid little crushes that I used to have on him.
I miss his jokes, and his overall sense of humor.
I miss his silly laugh.
I miss his red hair that earned him the nickname "Nemo" after the loveable clown fish.
I miss him.

His Memorial Service is tomorrow at 10 a.m.
Unfortunately I work at 11, so I don't know how I'm going to be able to go.
I'm trying to get off of work for his service...
I feel as if I need to attend.

It's odd how people are desensitised to almost everything, but death always takes us by surprise.
Even more so when it hits as close to home as it has.

Rest in Peace, Cory "Nemo" Young.
We'll miss you.

<3

An awesome beginning to a new week.

Work - I opened this morning, and it was definitely a long day. I was without an FES for two hours, so I had to rely on the MOD to drop everything and come to my aid when needed.
Time seems to creep by much more slowly on the register; I caught myself wandering around looking for something out of place in hopes that it needed to be placed back in it's original spot.
Despite the boredom, my work day went well.
I had a good break filled with mac n' cheese, pop rocks, fun people, and the wrong pronunciation of "epitome;" apparently I moved from "nerd" to "geek" status, which was said to be a good thing.
I got off at three.

In between - I called my mom to chat with her for a few minutes, but I couldn't get ahold of her; she didn't have the cell phone with her.
I dropped in and discovered that neither Rachel nor my mom were at home, and I immediately texted my aunt to ask her where they were.
I went to get gas, and upon recieving my change my mom calls from my aunt's phone and says, "How did you know where I was!?"
"It's easy," I replied. "I figure that when I can't get ahold of you you're with Mary."
After getting caught up I hung up and drove home.
After asking Kimmi what she thought I should wear (I didn't want to just wear the jeans + t-shirt combo; it's getting a bit old), and checking my interwebs connections, I drove out to John's.

John's - John was in the shower when I arrived, so I ended up bothering his cat for a little bit.
I gave him time to get ready before I actually started talking to him.
We left shortly after that to eat at Chilli's, because we were hungry (obviously... why else would we go to Chilli's?).
On the way there I saw the Barnes and Noble, and I started getting all excited; I saw it recently enough on an adventure with mom, and I reeeally wanted to go inside.
"Can we go to Barnes and Noble!? Can We!?"
Of course we waited 'til after food, because frankly I was rather hungry.
Dinner was nice; we joked around, ate some really good food and our waitress was one of the fun ones.
Mike called at one point and talked to me about moving in here for a couple of weeks, but I informed him that he would have to talk to Kimmi, who would have to talk to her parents about it.
Afterward we drove to the book store and stayed for a little while.
We walked around together for a little bit looking at the front area, then went our seperate directions when it came to what books we wanted to look at.
I found some books that I picked up, read the back, and set back down because I knew I didn't have money to purchase them.
Sarah Dessen released a new book recently, and I wanted to buy that one so badly.
Also, I found this other book called "Thirteen Days" I think, and it's starting to freak me out that every single time I go into Barnes and Noble I'm drawn to this book. I pick it up, read the inside cover, and go "Oh, I really want this book," and set it down.
One of these days I'll buy it... hah.
I didn't even really bother looking for "Looking For Alaska" by John Green; I would have purchased that right then and there.
We left Barnes and Noble eventually and drove back to John's to look up Go-Kart stuff and ended up watching "Family Guy" on Hulu.
We didn't end up doing that, but it's definitely a must-do.
We did, however, end up getting back into the car and driving down University.
I REALLY wish that I had my camera; I saw some things and wanted to make good pictures out of them....
Maybe next time?
We eventually located a Red Box and rented "The Wrestler."
Upon arriving back to John's we popped the movie in.
I liked the story line, and I liked how they put the movie together.
It felt longer than it was, and it had lots of strip bar scenes, which didn't bother me too much because they tied that into the story rather well.
After the movie we watched TV, and John ended up cleaning his house.
I left around 12:30 because 1) John has to work early tomorrow morning, and 2) I was getting sleepy and I still had to drive home.

Home - I ate the honey butter chicken biscuit that Micheal was nice enough to suggest getting for me, and pick it up for me.
Honestly, that's about as far as I've gotten.
I need to take some medicine to make my head stop feeling like it's going to explode, and get into my PJs and eventually pass out in my bed.
It's been a long day.

But it was so totally worth it : )

<3

8/01/2009

Whoo.

Today I woke up around noon and recieved a phone call from Amanda about thirty minutes later.
She had just woken up and wanted to know if I wanted to hang out for a little bit.
Since I hadn't seen her in a week or so I said "Yes. Lets hang out."
She arrived around one thirty or two, and we chilled and talked for a little bit.
We ended up going to Sonic for lunch, and she paid for mine; Thanks Amanda!!
Upon arriving back here we came upstairs to eat and hang out some more.
I showed her Taylor Swift's music video for "Thug Story," in which Taylor raps, and she got a kick out of that.
We both left the house around 3:40 because I had to work at four.

Work went alright.
Upon entering the store I discovered new Halloween decorations, and there's a freaky statue guy that makes noises; I refused to walk by him even once.
They put me to work doing freight (the left-overs from the truck yesterday), and it ended up being some of the more creepy Halloween decorations.
I'm going to say this now, and I'm sure I'll say it as the actual holiday grows closer: I dislike Halloween. Love the candy aspect, but I hate the getting scared aspect, and the gory movies and more scary decorations that come along with it.
Anyway.
I did that for a little bit.
At one point I pulled out these rose bushes, and they were covered in glitter.
So what happened?
My arms, face, shirt, apron and pants got covered in glitter; I looked almost like Edward Cullen, except for the sparkly effect was correct : )
After cleaning up the mess I made, and cleaning some water off of the floor, I was set to the task of redoing an entire section.
Adam was nice enough to get a ladder and climb on it and actually do the task pretty much for me.
Don't get me wrong, I did help; he handed me things and I set them down, and I moved a couple of hooks a couple of times, but Adam did most of the work, so thank you very much Adam; you're awesome : D
I got called up the register a couple of times during this entire process, and I eventually said "Is Cliff not the backup on register?"
They started calling Cliff afterward : )
I rang up our old district manager and joked around with him a bit; he knew my name since I introduced myself during one of his past visits.
After finishing my project I mopped up some random dirty spots on the floor, then took my break.
I busted out my headphones for thirty minutes, and was bummed when I had to go back to work because I FINALLY got to Linkin Park in my MP3 player, and I love them.
I did go-backs, recovery, and eventually ended up doing more go-backs.
We clocked out around ten, and I returned home.
I called mom on the way home and got the scoop on her day, and chatted with her for a bit.

Kimmi and I went up to the store for ice cream shortly after I returned home.
We had a good couple of hours of hanging out and talking; she left about an hour ago to see her brother, and I'm chilling here.
I showered and might end up doing my hair eventually.

I work during the day tomorrow, and then I get to go out and see John.
Whoo!

<3

And the day stops.

It's been a longish day full of interesting happenings and learning new things.

Work - My manager scheduled me for 9 this morning to be part of the truck crew, so I woke up at 7:30 and did whatever I could to wake up and be ready for the day ahead. I somehow managed to hit the bottom of my right foot on the board sticking up from under the toilet, and I now have a blood blister under my pinky toe. I know... how awesome, right? I still wasn't fully awake when I arrived at work, or when I started working; I'm not a morning person, and I honestly don't think I ever will be. At 9 a.m. the truck filled with Halloween decorations arrived, and the ten employees that were there started making signs, unloading the truck and sorting things. Since I haven't done any of this work since I first started working for Micheals, I was dumbfounded and confused. I forgot how to read the boxes and figure out which section they go in, so I had a hard time at first. Miriam yelled at me to get my act together, and I eventually did after I became a bit more coherant and learned. They sent me with a U-boat to drop and I didn't unload it; Tammy came in and said "Kimbra, you're supposed to unload the U-boat," and she started laughing. Of course I had to admit it was a bit funny; it should have been obvious to me that I needed to unload it and get it back to the receiving area so that we could load it up again. At some point Carlton said that I probably wouldn't ever want to be on truck again. I said "I don't care whether or not I'm on truck again; it's whatev. I don't mind it." Once I learned again what I needed to pay attention to, I became a better asset to the crew. After the truck was unloaded we took a fifteen minute break, and assigned people to drive aisles and the half aisle. Miriam, Tammy and I were assigned to one of the drive aisles, and we got to fiddle with that for quite awhile. Eventually we got to take a lunch, then set back to work on the drive aisle. I left at three and came home to make a move toward the rest of my day.

Home - On the way home I called mom and talked to her about a few things, and once I arrived home I came upstairs, got back into my PJs and passed out in my bed for two hours. I heard Kimmi come in around 5 so I got out of bed and talked to her for awhile. Micheal arrived thirty minutes later, and about an hour after that they left. I sat at my computer and tried to apply a background my Youtube friend made for me, and it didn't work; I eventually just gave her my password and had her do it. I really, really like what she made me - take a look at my page and see : D I called mom back around 7, then put my laundry in the washer and ate.

Mom's - I got to her house around eight and talked to her for awhile; she's really not happy about the recent occurences in regards to Micheal, and threatened to have a word or two with him. I also ended up talking to my dad for a little bit, which was nice because I hadn't seen him in awhile; he's not happy about the Micheal thing either. Then I hung around mom's room for a bit. I eventually ended up going into my bedroom with Rachel to retrieve a nightdress that Danielle has been wearing, and ended up bagging up the dirty clothes. Upon further inspection I found contraband in my shoe holder and ended up bagging up the rest of their clothes; I didn't intend for it to go that far. I dragged whatever from my room to the living room and piled it up; mom said that I could lock my bedroom door, but later changed her mind and told me to unlock it for them. I apologized to Ryan and Danielle (I've been doing that alot lately... maybe I should stop being so mean : /). Theeen I hung around there for a little while longer before coming home to an empty house.

Home Again - I ended up putting my clothes in the dryer and showering. I polished off my chocolate mini muffins as a substitute for dinner and am sipping on a bottle of water. And... well, that's it, I guess. I suppose that brings you up to speed.

Misc. - I found out today that I'm on register all week to "stir things up a bit." Apparently our register scores are low, so they're hoping that I'll help a bit. So yay?... I honestly have no idea what my schedule is for this coming week, but I'll write it down tomorrow! Today, minus a few things, has been quite fun and enjoyable.

Hopefully tomorrow is even better : )

<3

6/18/2009

Random

During the last week I:
- Worked, arriving late one day and early another
- Went to the mall and bookstore with my sister and her boyfriend
- Got annoyed with people that walked randomly into my house like its their own.
- Got a visit from Kimmi, and filmed a vlog with her
- Hung out with my best friend John, and saw my best friend Dani
- Uploaded several pictures to Dailybooth
- Played Disney Scene It, and won : D
- Dog sat my future live-in dogs at my future house
- Saw my best friend Amanda (I have more than one best friend...)
- Finally saw my cousins and aunt after weeks of not hearing from any of them
- Watched my sister play Spyro, and she beat it in two days
- Chatted with my friend Alex
- Become hooked on MyZoo, which is a facebook application that allows you to build a zoo. I'm at level ten, and have every animal that I can have so far.
- Tried to catch up at textsfromlastnight, but haven't succeeded yet.
- Become an internet monger
- Had a few off days to do whatever I feel like doing
- Gotten payed
- Finally got my JohnnyDurham19 t-shirt, and have to mail it back for a smaller shirt
- Played Sims 2
- And watched Elizabethtown

I know, I need to update more frequently.
Oh well.

Random things I found out today:
- Facebook has a pregnancy test application that starts out asking you what your gender is, then asks if you're nautious, have food cravings, etc. Oh the world we live in...
- Johnny sent out a pin with each t-shirt, and I found mine on the floor. It says Rawr : D
- Water and keyboards don't mix
- After a full day at home, I'm incredibly restless.

Thats it for today.
I hope to see you soon.

<3

6/15/2009

Whoops : D

I know I haven't updated in days.
I'll be back later with a fun filled, upbeat entry!
: D

6/11/2009

Whats this? A random blog?

Today, my emotions have been on a rollarcoaster.
I don't remember the last time its been like this...

Bad Things:
Today I woke up around noon and Rachel informed me that dad was, yet again, drunk.
He was awake until around 1 this afternoon.
We had an arguement because he wanted to fix the part of the refridgerator door that was broken, or help me fix it.
I said no, that he should go to bed.
After going back and forth for a minute, me getting fed up and coming in here, and going back and forth some more, I yelled.
"Look! You're making me angry! I think its time for you to go to bed!"
So he yelled back, and FINALLY went to bed.
I was able to fix that piece in two minutes.
Other things have been said about dad's behavior earlier today, and frankly, this is it.
I'm finished being nice to him.

Good Things:
I got ready a little bit after that.
Rachel and I went up to work, and I actually had a reason for it... but we ended up just chatting with my manager and coworkers for a little bit... haha
Then we came home so I could check my bank account...
Put gas in my car...
Went to the video store, and exchanged "He's Just Not That Into You" for "Changeling," which is an AMAZINGLY good movie. Like no lie.
It just seems rather long.
Anyway.
After that, we got food at McDonalds (yuck.. but we were hungry).
Theeen we drove out to Dani's Shoppe.
We had a lovely visit with her, even though the poor dear was tired because she didn't get very much sleep due to the storms.
Rachel and I came home around six, and entered into the house to lights blazing and Danielle making an oatmeal cake.
Which turned out quite well.
I farmed alot on farmtown (facebook)...
And we watched "Underworld: Rise Of the Lycans," which was kind of bloody due to the battle scenes, but really good.

Bad Things:
Mom, Rachel and I got into a small fight, but we're okay.
We discussed dad and have decided that he needs to leave.
And we're supposed to have a meeting about it tomorrow.
I'm not looking forward to it. At all.
I hate attempting to be the bad guy.
And I don't want to kick him out.
I really, truly don't.
If he could just not drink and in tern not make an ass of himself, then we would all be fine.
Its not a situation I like being in.
We've been in this situation before, and not said anything.I think its time for that to end.
And Kyle can't fix the second computer.
So I probably can't take mine with me when I go.
Unless we can come up with money to buy a new one.
Which won't happen unless mom can go to work every night instead of sleeping.
And I'm flat broke.
Until next week.
I don't even think I have enough for phone minutes if those go.
And Kyle is leaving on Saturday. For a longish amount of time.
And that sucks.
And if we kick dad out, he may not feel inclined to help me move.Which sucks, because who else is going to help me?

Good things:
John is coming over tomorrow night (I really hope).
I'm still moving soon.
I've seen a ton of good movies in the past couple of days.
I have tomorrow off.
Its been an all around good week.

Even after the good things, I feel like crying.
Whyy must today be so... emotional?

<3

(I hit you with a ton of stuff in this entry...)
Explanations:
Dad: He's an alcoholic. My parents are divorced due to this very reason. They have been divorced for ten years, and dad has been living here for three. See why he needs to leave?
Kyle, John, Danielle, Dani: Our friends. Kyle, John and Dani are mine. Danielle is Rachel's, but we've all pretty much taken her in and loved on her a bit.
Kyle is leaving on an internship, and he was working on a computer for me, but it needs a new motherboard that he doesn't have time to install.
Dani's parents own a Resale Shoppe.. She works in it.
And this is how I blog on myspace, with a bunch of odd half sentences and thoughts.
I'm usually more ... together.
But. Obviously today is a hard day.
And I'm not up to fixing it.

6/10/2009

Wasting the Day.

So I'm pretty much just chillin' right here until work...
Which is at five.
Its 1:18 p.m. right now.

I've debated with myself quite a bit on this subject.
On one hand, I am feeling very, very lazy at the moment and haven't done a whole lot toward "getting ready for the day."
And since I have the next two days off, I can afford to be as lazy as I want to before work.
On the other hand, I should probably go up to school and talk about Financial Aid with them, because I'm moving out of momma's house soon and I know school will be very hard to pay for unless I get some kind of help.
And I should probably declare my major (Double majoring perhaps in English and Education, and minoring in Creative Writing).
And being lazy before work makes me really antisocial, so much so that it affects my work day.

Honestly, I have nothing to do as of late besides get my school stuff in order.
So can't that wait another day?
I hope so.
Because from where I'm sitting, nothing productive is happening.

If I go up there, all I'll be worrying about is getting out of there on time to rush home and get ready for work.
Then rush to work, where I will resent having been rushed an be in some sort of odd and foul mood.

... So it looks like the lazy aspect of the day wins.
I do have tomorrow off, so I will probably end up doing everything I need to do then.

But what should I do with my day until 3:30 or 4?
I could play Sims 2.
I could pack.
I could, but I'll probably end up vegging out in front of the television...
Which is fine, I suppose...
Its summer. People are expected to be lazy, right?
Meh. I still feel bad for taking a lazy day.

I don't know if this blog makes any sense whatsoever.
... Time to go back and edit.

Hope to see you soon!

<3

6/09/2009

Why Hello

Heeey.
This is my very first blog on this account that will count.
During a time that seems like a million years ago, I posted two entries.
And what they said isn't important in the least, so I deleted them.
I didn't even recall having a blogger, you see.
That tells you how much I cared.

But now I do care.
I want to invite people into my daily life.
Its technically for the Youtube users that have taken an interest in it,
But if you're not on youtube, and just stumbled accross, feel free to stay for awhile.
: )

I'll attempt to update this thing regularly, but honestly I make no promises.
I hope to talk to whoever you are soon : D

<3