8/05/2009

Yesterday was a Rough Day.

8/4 - Rough Day. (Written at night)

I finally managed to get into a good mood, and I'm hoping that it will last during the typing of this blog.

Last night I received the news that a good friend of mine passed away on Thursday.
His memorial service was scheduled for today at 10 a.m., and I had to be at work at 11.
In a frenzy, I sent messages to all three of my managers on facebook explaining the situation and asking if I could go in a bit late.I stayed awake until 2 o' clock in the morning waiting on a reply, and I didn't receive one.
This morning around seven thirty Carlton got back to me.
"I got your message. Whats up?"
In a half asleep haze I retold the story of my good friend passing away, that I wanted to go to his Memorial Service, and asked if there was a way that I could go in a bit later.
He didn't repond for twenty minutes, so I sent him another message explaining that all I really wanted was to be able to go and stay the entire time.
The next message I received said, "I got your shift covered, take the day off."
I said, "Are you sure?"
And he responded with "Yes. Go be with your friends : )"
"Okay. Thank you so very much."
After that, the sadness kicked in.
I managed to hold it back for a little while, forcing myself to get ready and focus on what needed to be done.
It's amazing that there are so many things that we're desensitised to, but Death never seems to be one of them...
Especially ones that hit closer to home than one would like.

Kimmi and I left the house at 9:30 in order to drive by my mom's house and retrieve my other black high heel (only I could manage to leave one shoe carelessly thrown into the back seat of my car...).
We drove to the church, and even though the atmosphere was a bit grim I wasn't sad.
I kept thinking "Maybe this is the wrong kid. Maybe it's not actually him."
Denial has to come at some point, right?
That was my point.
I didn't want it to be him.

Upon entering the church, the atmosphere became even more grim.
My brain stopped denying once I saw a frame matted into several small squares, each one containing pictures of our red-headed loved one.
I didn't want to go into the sanctuary - I had a good idea of what awaited, and at that point I wanted to turn back and pretend that this situation wasn't happening.
Kimmi lead the way though, and I followed.
A slideshow of Nemo's life was playing, accompanied by several beautiful pieces of music.
That kid looked the same all of his life, except for the fact that he was taller and more filled out in the recent pictures.
Kimmi and I were eventually joined by Mr. Short (our old band director), who sat to her left during the service.
Before the preacher spoke, an awesome song played about parrots and mimicking, and I'm not doing it justice at all, but the lyrics were amazing.
The pastor read a few scriptures, and letters from the family.
At some point a Bob Marley song came on, and I laughed; of course that song would play at his funeral.
Eventually the pastor read a letter that Cory "Nemo" wrote to himself.
The letter was filled with beautiful advice on how to be "a strong pillar," and how to make people happy.
He told himself not to treat women as objects of pleasure, but to look for a woman that will embrace everything about him and love him for it.
It moved me to tears; how could such a great guy pass away shortly before he turned nineteen?
They (his family) had copies of it available at the house for the after-service lunch, but I didn't attend so I didn't get one.
A third amazing-lyriced song played to conclude the service, and of course that moved me to tears.
I cried throughout the service; disbelief and the rush of emotions that came with missing him and never being able to see him again hit me hard.
Even though I hadn't seen him in forever I was aware that the option to see him was there; now, though, there isn't an option.

Afterward, Kimmi and I joined the other band-related people in a small group in the foyer, and talked a little while with them.
We eventually left and went to Subway to get some lunch, and even through that I wasn't quite right.
On the way home, we were both informed of how his death occurred.
Honestly, the way it happened was as shocking as finding out about it.

After Kimmi dropped me off at mom's she left for work, and I was left to run errands with my momma.
Amanda called and wanted to know if I wanted to hang out, and I said yes, but that it would have to be a little later.
Mom and I went to 7-Eleven for a drink for her, then to Walgreens to check on her medication.
I broke down while trying to park at 7-Eleven; talking about the Memorial service made it even more real than it already was, and by that point I had already fully realized what was going on.
We drove home so that I could change clothes, and afterward I drove mom out to her work, then to her bank.
After dropping her off at home I called Amanda and came back home to wait.

When Amanda showed up we chilled here for a bit, talking about Cory a little while and eventually moved onto other topics.
We also went to KFC, where I ate Mac n' Cheese and a biscuit, and she got a kid's meal.
We came back here for a bit, and she eventually had to leave to go see a movie with a friend.
I left shortly after to get Rachel and take her to class.

On the way there Rachel and I laughed and had a good time; by that point I was newly out of my funk and very tired indeed.
We walked accross the campus to her building, and I sat outside reading "The Chronicles Of Narnia" while she learned Math.
We had another fun ride home, and I dropped her off so that I could come home and eat the speghetti that Kimmi made for dinner.

The speghetti seemed to make everything better, even though I know it was a combination of Kimmi's company, relief that my day was finally winding down, and the speghetti.
We watched a little TV, then came upstairs to chillax on our computers.I need to check my laundry soon... Blah.

I consider myself very blessed to have such amazing friends, family and managers that are facebook friends, in my life.
Without ya'll today would have been infinitely more hard.

Good Memories About Cory:
- Hanging out with him (and our other friends) at his house. Whether I was watching him put CDs into his microwave and letting them fry (he spray painted one blue and silver and gave it to me... I don't know what happened to it), watching cartoon-gore episodes of "The Happy Tree Friends" that led to him making fun of me, watching he and the other boys play video games and get excited when they won, and making somewhat of a mess, we always had a good time.
- His sense of humor. He always had a joke on hand to make people laugh. I remember him calling me a "Grotsky little biotch," and on another occasion saying that I was so cute that he wanted to put me in his pocket and carry me around.
- His silly laugh.
- His ability to guess when my period was occuring; I still haven't figured out how he did that.
- He had a fascination with one particular plant, and grew some; he referred to the plants as "My babies," and was upset when his mother made him throw them away.
- Our band trip to Disneyworld. I hung out with him (and a large group of people) on the day that we were left to explore Disneyworld. We took pictures with Stitch, and rode a ton of rides. We got stuck on one side of the street by a parade that just ended up annoying us because we couldn't get around it. There was one point while we were on the buses that he snuck onto the girl's bus and we all pretended that he wasn't there. The parents eventually caught on, but let him stay anyway. I have a picture of him sleeping in Kait's lap : )

Even though losing him is hard, I know I (and everyone else in his life) were blessed with several good memories with him.
I'm grateful for the time that we spent together.
Rest in peace, Cory "Nemo" Young.
You'll be missed.

<3

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