3/25/2010

This may not make sense.

I don't know what it is; I can't figure out how to word things today, or really what to talk about.
But I'll figure it out.

Yesterday I went to classes, ran arrands with my mom and sister, and spent the rest of the night hanging out with my family.
It was a lot of fun, even though all we did was watch TV and eat dinner.

Today I had nothing to do, so I slept until 3 (which was an accident; I only wanted to sleep until one).
I got ready eventually, got the books together for the HP alliance accio book drive (http://www.thehpalliance.org/accio-books/) <--- click the link!!!, wrote down the address to send said books, got our laundry together, and when dad got here Rachel, he and I went up to the laundromat.
After I washed Rachel and I's clothes, we left, came home to drop off the laundry, and went to The Avenue for some jeans. I didn't find any; all of their jeans are really weird and I couldn't find what I usually wear.
We got dad a little later and dropped him off here, and headed to Wal Mart for groceries.
We saw the nearly claw empty machine upon walking in, and upon trying it I won a stuffed penguin on my first try - I was super excited.
After wandering around for an hour, picking groceries and having them rung up, I realized that my wallet wasn't on me. I hauled it to my car and, thankfully, found it in the floor board and was able to pay for the groceries.
After paying, I realized that I didn't get change for Rachel and went to customer service to wait, bumping into an old friend in line; we awkwardly caught up, and then I excused myself because he suggested that I try Subway to get change, sooo I did.
That didn't work either, so Rachel used the only dollar bill I had to try to get a stuffed animal and didn't win; she was a bit disappointed.
After we got home, I continued doing laundry, we ate dinner and Brandon came over to do our quiz.
When he left, I did the whole shower/shave my legs thing and haven't done anything of substance since.

Tomorrow I have my one 8 a.m. class, and then I plan on attempting to go to the post office to ship the books to the Mississippi Delta area.
We'll see how tired I am, though... May have to wait until Saturday.
Then I should probably go do our blankets at the laundromat, because I really don't want to do them tomorrow night after work or on Saturday, which is my fourth day off.
We'll see how tomorrow goes... Again, I may be too tired to actually be productive before work.

I'm plagued at the moment with thoughts about the past and how it affects the present and will inevitably affect the future.
Personally, I choose to think of the three as completely different time frames that stand alone and have nothing to do with each other, but despite that I know that my thoughts aren't the case; the past directly affects the future, and whether it's for the better or worse depends on the situation.
One particular situation stands out, and I can't help but fear that it will directly affect things in my life right now, or relationships with people that I would like to stay in good terms with.
It's partially my fault, I'm aware; I can't let things go sometimes, and other times my feelings get the better of my brain which leads to uncomfortable circumstances. I realize these things, but I don't think that I can control it; I'm a firm believer that feelings can't be controlled, no matter how much people want to try reining them in. However, I do think that I can work on toning them down, which I am only happy to do.
(I honestly don't know where that last bit came from, but I'll leave it since it seems to fit.)

I also think about my recently failed friendship almost daily, which sucks; I want to let that go. I don't want to be haunted by that anymore, and I don't want to care. It's stupid that something that isn't even an issue anymore still bothers me (this statement applies to SEVERAL things. Ugh).

I dont' know. I guess I kind of wish that I could turn certain bits of my brain off for awhile and focus on other things, but if I could do that then life would be too easy.

My grandma is FINALLY out of the hospital; she called my cell phone from home, and I have never been more happy to see "Mamaw" come up on my background.
We talked for a minute and she informed me that she feels really good, but that today she's really tired so she had to use her cane.
I'm relieved - I was so worried about her. I'm going to try to see her at some point soon; may go down there this coming Wednesday and stay until Thursday night. We'll see.

This is certainly a long post for someone that had no idea what to say...
I suppose that I'll go now.

<3

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