I love my big family.

On Friday night after I got home from work, I rounded up the items that I piled in various places within the house, and packed a bag. I grabbed a blanket, stuffed manitee (Mani is her name... I've had her since I was considerably younger), and my pillows, and helped load the car.
At ten thirty, we pulled out of my driveway and stopped at a gas station to get Owen, my youngest cousin, a 7 up so that he could have a drink.
Then my mom, sister, cousin and I made our way to my grandma's.
The car ride there was kind of boring, yet relaxing. Rachel and Owen fell asleep, and mom and I chatted for a bit. There were a few minutes, however, in which I was scared to death because we had to pull off of the highway and go to gas station so that mom could take some medicine. The gas station was in a considerably worse part of the state, and it was dark. And, a strange man that I'd never seen before motioned at me, though I assumed that he just wanted me to get my car out of his way. And Rachel said that another guy leaned all of the way out of his window to try to get a good look at us as we passed him. Creepy.
Anyway, so we finally got to my grandma's.
We said hey to my grandma, put Rachel to bed, and Owen, mom, Mamaw and I visited for awhile before scattering to our own rooms.
I stayed in the living room for awhile and finished "Sunshine Cleaning," which was actually a good, yet sad, movie.
Then I worked on my novel while watching "Pocahantus." When the movie was over I put in another one and checked the time. It was 5 a.m. I turned off the second movie and forced myself to fall asleep.

At 11, I woke up to my sister walking in to my room and saying "Kimmi, it's time to wake up!" in a sing-song voice.
I rolled over, but ended up talking to her for about thirty more minutes in which I pretended that she killed my arm, she revived it, and she tickled my back when I rolled over again. Yes, we're weird. And yes, I'm ticklish on my back.
I then proceeded to get ready for our family reuinion taking place later on, and finally met my uncle's girlfriend in the process.
Honestly, she seems like a nice woman. She's funny, and she treated us nicely. It almost felt like she fit in with the family and that she was always a part of it. Weird, yet nice at the same time.
We went to my mom's aunt's and suddenly I was overwhelmed by how many family members we have.
I've always known that we have a large family; every time I go to a family function (wedding, funeral, party) I always meet new people.
Some of these people I had to be reintroduced to, and I thought it was nice that they weren't offended.
This side of the family is friendly in an intense way. They greet, hug, kiss, and say hello almost simultaneously.
Upon saying hello to the few that bothered saying hello outside, we entered the house and were greeted by many more people.
After saying grace, we lined up and piled our plates full of food.
Well, I did. Most of it was finger food, really. I got a hot dog, some crackers, cheese, pepperoni slices, and various fruits. For dessert (quite awhile after lunch), I ate some cheesecake squares, chocolate cake and a biscuit. So much for dieting, right?
While I was inside I had a couple of conversations that I feel like sharing.
1) "Kimbra, how old are you?" "Twenty-one." This was met by a blank stare and a "What?" "Yeah, I'm twenty-one. Rachel's nineteen." "... Wow."
2) "Kimbra, Andrea was just telling me that you're 21. I can't beleive it."
3) I saw a man that looked a TON like Papa, but weighed more. I knew it couldn't be papa because he's dead (may he rest in peace), but was entirely too confused. I had to do a double take to make sure that it wasn't him. "Mamaw?" I asked, "Who's that man who looks like Papa? In the white shirt? No, Mamaw, at this table. Sitting accross from Andrea. He's looking at us. Yeah, him, who is he?" "That's uncle Jesse," she replied. "Ooohhhh. He looks just like Papa. I guess we should say hi." So we went over there and said hey, and he started gushing about "Wow, you're such a beautiful young woman. You turned out to be very beautiful. And you're 21? Wow."
Of course I hugged his neck, hugged Rick's neck, Don's, Aunt Scottie, saw a new baby, saw the distant cousin who got into a car accident a year ago and he seems to be doing well, Yvonne, talked with Sylvia for a minute, saw a ton of kids, my mom's uncle Shawn, Andrea, Ragina, their kids... The list could go on, but I don't know everyone's names and am sure my head would explode if I tried to think of them.
After lunch I went with Owen to the pool and ended up walking to the basketball court to shoot with Uncle Eldon.
Surprisingly enough, I am not as bad as I thought. I actually made a few, and was quite proud of myself.
We let one of my second or third cousins join in, and eventually we all stopped and I headed inside to find Rachel, who met another one of our distant cousins.
I got a drink, said hello to more family, and we ended up going to the pool.
The cousin she was talking to followed us out there, left for a bit, then came back after we were all finally in the pool. I found a floaty to lay on, since I can't touch when I get to the deeper water, and I tried tanning a bit. I ended up being splashed, and threw balls back to Owen whenever he would throw them at me, hitting me a few times.
I climbed out eventually, and dried off for a bit.
After going back inside, I changed into my shorts and left my swimsuit top on for the rest of the visit; I was too hot in my cookie monster t-shirt.
I ended up going between the pool and the basketball court for the rest of the time that we were there. I made a few more baskets when I shot, made Owen get out of the pool, and afterward we all headed inside. After about five minutes, Uncle Eldon rounded us up and told us it was time to go, so I gathered our stuff and we walked back outside.
Mom was there when we walked out, so Rachel and I ended up riding to Mamaw's with her.
I was relieved to go home, because I was ready to be a lazy bum and perhaps take a nap. I will miss that side of my family, though, and hopefully I'll do a better job of going to the reunions and remembering who all is who.
I ended up napping from five to eight, and grunted when mom told me it was time to wake up.
I relocated to the couch, watched TV and talked with Mamaw, Uncle, his girlfriend Carol and my mom. I ate a burger and tried waking Owen up by taking his covers and planting kisses all over his head.
We sat around until nine thirty, packed, made beds, loaded up the car, hugged and kissed everyone, and hit the road.
I drove us in, and only had a couple of swervy mishaps when trying to get the radio to a different station. No accidents, no deaths. Great drive, in my opinion.
I talked with mom for a bit and talked to Owen when he piped up, which wasn't very often since he was trying to sleep.
When we got home, we picked Ethan up and took he and Owen home.
When we got home again, we unloaded the car and moved Rachel to her bed where she passed out about ten minutes after arriving.
I showered, and here I am now.

Tomorrow, I plan on reviewing the math for the accuplacer, doing laundry, going shopping for some much needed clothes (work pants/shorts), and having dinner with the girls at 6.

Monday I plan on just laying around and being lazy, though I'm sure I'll end up doing something.

Alrighty, that's all from me today.
I'll write soon.



Sunshine, Daisies, Butter Mellow...

Hi! I'm in a great mood today.

I got to sleep in until a reasonable time and managed to drag myself out of bed before 1 in the afternoon.
After eating breakfast, I played Animal Crossing for a bit.
I'm going to geek out for a minute here, so bare with me and we'll get through it painlessly.
I love this game. I've been catching fish, bugs, and I finally, FINALLY found a fossil, which happened to be a T-Rex head. I finally paid off my house, and got an upgrade with a purple roof. I have a lemon table and a pear wardrobe that can hold anything. I may get my hair styled differently, and get some different clothes.
See? That wasn't so bad, was it?
We caught Tigger napping ON TOP of the tallest bookshelf in the living room, and had no idea how she got there. She didn't come down for a few more hours after we caught her.
I eventually got my sister to get dressed and run errands with me.
We ran by the Library to print off a few things, the post office to ship my book, then to campus to get something accomplished.
After paying my accuplacer fee, Rachel and I walked past the giant chess board that sits on my campus, and she went over to it, stood on a square, and said "Look Kim! I'm Hermione Granger!"
I have never been more proud of that young woman.
Well, okay, I have, but that was definitely a great moment.
ANOTHER moment that stands out from today (out of so, so many great ones) is when she was listening to a song and started analyzing it. I KNEW my English-loving ways would rub off on her some day.
I didn't want to go straight home after leaving campus, so we drove to a Gamestop where we proceeded to look at games for about an hour. When we left there, we came home, grabbed the stack of games that we wanted to trade in, and went back to Gamestop. I got $81something worth in store credit, and spent all but $9.50 of it. I bought "Jurassic: The Hunted," "Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe," and a couple of games that I don't remember for Rachel.
We went to the book store after that, and I spent entirely too much money there. We started talking to this guy who was pretty nice, had a great sense of humor, and had me hooked by the end of our conversation. Too bad he was taken.
After the book store, we ran by the grocery store, and finally got to come home.
Rachel and I ate, then watched a few episodes of "Gargoyles." We're in the second season on episode sixteen. Only 35 more episodes to go...
After that we played the Jurassic game, but got too freaked out since it's a first person shooter and we don't handle Velociraptors very well.
I played Animal Crossing some afterwards, and got scared by a spider falling out of a tree I shook.
Rachel went to bed around 11:30, and I've just kind of been chillin' since.
I tried putting music on dad's iPod shuffle, talked with my cats (Fang, who is curled up in a ball under my computer chair, talks long enough to tell me he wants outside), cleaned out some music from my iPod, found some AWESOME music within the depths of it, and am charging it to I can do Facebook through it. I know, I'm addicted, and I don't always want to sit here and be on the internet.
I miss my laptop : /

I finally got some financial aid from this semester, which I will use to take the rest of the classes that I need before I can graduate college. Hopefully I'm done to one semester. We'll see.
I need to take my accuplacer next week, but should probably review beforehand.
I'm seeing John tomorrow for a little bit, giving him this present that I thought of, most likely getting him another one, and enjoying that time I have with him. I miss him.
I work tomorrow, then get to go to my grandma's.
SATURDAY is the fourth of July party. Can't wait!

Okay, I think I'm finally done.

Oh wait, one more thing.
Turn this stupid fat rat yellow!




My dad just left, as is customery after his hours-long visits most days a week, and I started thinking about his feelings.
I know, right? Weird.
Usually, his feelings aren't something that I think about. He didn't think about mine, Rachel's or mom's when we were younger and he would terrorize us over the smallest things. He didn't seem to care about us or our feelings when he moved from house to house, eventually moving to Michigan to live with his mother (Note: I realize now that he HAD to do that; he had no other options and he didn't want to).
I used to be very scared of my dad, and I still am when I whitness him while intoxicated; I usually just steer clear until he's subdued or gone. I went from being scared of him to hating him, and didn't talk to him for five years. I went back to being scared when he came back to Texas the summer before my Senior year of high school (Note: He hadn't seen us for six or seven years by this point, and didn't even recognize my sister). From my senior year to now, he's lived with us off and on, and I finally, finally know how to feel about him.
My dad is a good man, and is actually pretty thoughtful. When he left the house a little while ago, he came back to help get the trash to the curb. He bought groceries and brought them over here to share with us, and even though most of it is definitely man food, I'm very grateful. If it weren't for his alcoholism, he would be a fabulous man.
I know how I felt during those tough few years and how I feel now, but how did he feel? He did he feel when he realized that he was having negative effects on his family? How did he feel when he found his stuff on the front porch and his family missing? How did he feel when he signed the divorce papers? When he only got to see us once every couple of weeks? When he moved to Michigan and didn't see us for YEARS? How did he feel when I refused his phone calls? How did he feel when he was kicked out of here AGAIN? How does he feel when I'm mad at him? How does he feel when he leaves after a visit?
Through my blind fear in regard to his alcoholism, I forget that he is, indeed, a person. I forget that he does love my sister and I, and is doing all he can to help support us, even though he couldn't be here to finish raising us.
I've realized that despite all of our invidiual failures, shortcomings, harships, and brokenness, we are a family. We may not like each other at times, or live together, but we are still a family nonetheless. I'm extremely blessed to have Rachel as my sister, my mother as my mom, and yes, my dad as my dad.

Anxiety Levels

For those of you who don't know, I'm a fairly anxious person, and I worry all of the time.
I worry about what I will look like before I leave the house, and what I look like once the inevitable eyeliner-smearing takes place.
I worry about whether or not I'm going to get my job at work finished on time, and whether or not it will stay clean. I have actually taken to checking three or four times on aisles that I've already cleaned because I want them to look nice.
I worry about finding someone to marry and start a family with. On top of that, I worry that I won't marry the right person and that it will end up in divorce, like my parents and so many others out there.
I worry about whether or not I will look like an idiot when I dance.
I worry about losing loved ones.
I worry about the fact that my bellybutton won't heal.
I worry about the effects of telling people that I'm interested in them. What if they don't like me? That's when I tell myself that the worst that can happen is complete rejection. But why would they reject me?
I worry about whether or not a shirt looks just right on me, and hides my stomach well enough.
See? Constant worrier.

On top of all of this worry, I've added dieting and losing weight.
I've started applying the weight watchers point system to my daily routine.
I'm only on day two, and am FREAKING OUT.
Like, how do I balance my points? I only get a certain amount, so do I want to eat a six point breakfast or wait to have a six point dinner? What are lower point foods that I can eat without going over? How am I going to handle the upcoming family fourth of july party? Will I ever figure this out?
I actually am figuring it out. After going up to 23 points (and over, actually), I discovered that I'm supposed to only get 22.
I'm finding foods that are lower in points that I can eat and not feel guilty about.
Like, for example, 17 pretzels equals one point. Two fig neutons equal two points. Lettuce? Zero points. Dressing? 1 point. Carrots? 0; guess who will start eating a ton more of those gross vegitables?
The point system, I have learned, definitely depends upon the servings you eat. It's all about portion control, which I actually struggle with. I like eating whatever I want at odd times of the day, and this "diet" thing is getting in the way. Maybe THIS is why I'm kind of a lot overweight.
I'm sure the anxiety about eating what and when for how many points will end soon, but until then... Let the freak out commence!

To give you a small update:
I haven't shipped my Chemistry book yet, but mom was nice enough to print the shipping labels for me. I should ship it tomorrow.
I'm out of makeup and should run to wal mart for some before I laze about tomorrow.
I've played some of Animal Crossing, and it's actually fun. I did, however, get stung by bees four times earlier tonight, so that was a bummer.
Still need to go to Gamestop and trade games in/buy PS3 games. I don't TOUCH my PS3, which is sad. Sad day for Kimbra.
I FINALLY got "Becoming Jane" through Netflix, which I am entirely too excited about watching.
I haven't touched my novel-in-progress for a week or so. Need to, because the ideas are still swarming within my head.
I need to reread "Paper Towns," "Eclipse," and "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows." AND READ "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader." And watch "Avatar the Last Airbender."
Speaking of watching cartoons, Rachel and I are in the second season of "Gargoyles." I would totally be watching it right now if she were awake. Like Kingdom Hearts, it's something that we're doing together so that we have some quality time.

Annd I suppose that's all.
Sorry about the semi-negative blog.
I'll try to bring more sunshine, rainbows and positivity to the next one.



Work, Paper Towns and a Cherry Slush or Two

A lot of my time this week was spent at work, where I did random tasks such as decorate forth of July t-shirts with glitter glue, clean up after people, ring people up on the register, and answer a ton of questions.
I honestly don't mind any of that, though.
I mean, yeah, sometimes it's a bit frustrating trying to clean up after people and ending up actually cleaning up after people who mess up perfectly clean aisles, but that's just part of the job. That's when I take deep breaths and try not to throw something...
I like my job, though. I truly do. I like that I get along with everyone that I work with, and that our management treats us like human beings and not worker bees. I like helping a customer find something and having them go "OH this is it! Thank you! You're so awesome!" I like surprising customers by going above and beyond what I should do, and making their day. It's nice.

For those of you who don't know, I'm a sales floor representative/cashier at a craft store that I withhold the name of on purpose. I do the above mentioned work, mixed in with random arts and crafts opportunities that come my way and build the occasional planogram. I know how it works in the retail and customer service world, and get rather surprised when I'm the customer and receive terrible customer service.
I went to WalMart with my dad recently enough, and after a rather lengthy shopping experience (dad needed clothes, a new cell phone, and shoes), we both got in line to purchase our goods.
I went first, set the cake I was buying for Ben's birthday on the conveyer belt, and set my cookie monster and batman t-shirts on top. The woman behind the register rang the t-shirts up first, then proceeded to peer at the cake for longer than necessary. "I can't ring this up," she said.
"Why not?" I ask, then realize. "Oh, there isn't a tag thingy? Okay, hold on."
So I dash off to the bakery, which took me less than a minute, grabbed the UPC (bar code thingy) for the cake, and ran back to her register. It took me less than two minutes to do a job that someone else gets paid to do.
When I get back, she's ringing my dad up. "She couldn't wait," he said. "The line is too long, she said."
"That's fine," I replied, because I understood; sometimes that decision needs to be made, and that's fine.
When she gets to the only shirt he grabbed, she informed us that there wasn't a tag on it.
"Ah, fuck it," dad said; he didn't like the shirt much anyway.
"Dad, you need another shirt," I said, not helping the situation.
The woman just stood there.
"Do you want me to go get another shirt?" dad asked.
"Isn't there someone on the floor who could do it?" I asked, pretty pissed off by this point.
"They're all busy," she replied snappishly.
So my dad took off to do some other person's job, and I waited patiently.
"Is that your dad?" she asked me.
I guess the question was warranted. My dad has hazel eyes and gray-hair-that-used-to-be-brown, and I have brown eyes and brown hair. Still, I was pissed, so I just said "Yes, that's my dad."
"You should have gotten that for him."
"My dad is a grown man and can take care of himself."
She waited PATIENTLY for him to return, finished his transaction, then re-rang my things up.
I don't remember any more of the conversation, but this woman was intollerable from start to finish. I was livid by the time we walked out of there.
I know how customers are supposed to be treated, and that certainly wasn't the way I treat mine.


I discovered CHERRY SLUSHES. They are amazing. They're just like snocones, really, except a lot more easily accessable during my lunch thirty-minutes at work.

I bought a couple of super cool t-shirts, and they're friggen super cool.

I'm reading "Paper Towns" by John green, and am on the last chapter. I want to finish reading it but am too engrossed in the internet right now.
It is actually a very, very good book. It gets you thinking a lot about life and people and how people see others and how people see themselves and end up seeing more of themselves as they try to discover other people. I highly recommend it; I know I will be rereading it quite often.

I bought "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" FINALLY, after it stared me in the face every time I went to Barnes and Noble for the past few times.

I sold my Chemistry book for a pretty penny, and will be shipping it Monday.

I plan on waking up at 7 a.m. ON MY DAY OFF to see a blog TV broadcast, because I adore the two people hosting the broadcast so I really don't mind.

I unlinked my myspace and twitter accounts, so I shall not tweet on Myspace or status on Twitter.

My laptop crashed, so I'm stuck with my desk top for at least two weeks until my next paycheck. Then I can pay 1,000someodd dollars for a pretty brand new laptop and a 3 year warranty.
So much for a camera or college tuition or saving money to go to Harry Potter world.
I shouldn't really be so pessimistic about it, because I AM excited about the prospect of a new laptop.

I'm trying to get off work to go to my family's fourth of July bash on the 26th, but so far no luck.

My belly button ring is still annoying as ever and has taken to getting stuck in a position within it's holes and refuses to move without causing me some slight pain. Worst idea I've ever had? Yes. But I'm trying to keep it because I paid money for it.

Ben, my sister's boyfriend, brought over "Oblivian" for the PS3 and "Animal Crossing" for the Wii for Rachel and I. The first game was for Rachel, the second for me. When he told us this, I said "So you thought 'Blood and Gore for Rachel, and Cute Fuzzy Cuddly Animals for Kimbra,' huh?" We all laughed, because that REALLY IS how it goes around here, though Rachel doesn't mind cute fuzzy cuddly animals, but I seriously mind blood and gore.
Rachel is dissing my house on Animal Crossing. I only played for about an hour yesterday because I took on a part time job, and I wasn't about to work on a video game after working at my real job. No thanks.
Anyway, she says it's "gloomy." Sad day.

I hung out with Amanda on Thursday. We started at my house (after a long day of laptop shopping with my mom), and ended up driving around until we randomly pulled into an Arbys. Then we headed to a park near my house and walked around and caught up, because it seems like a lot can happen in a few weeks.
I got home around ten and sat with my momma for a bit while watching TV.

I honestly think that's all. I barely remember half of what I typed in here because I'm so distracted by facebook/AIM/Animal Crossing. Sometimes my MultiTasking gets a bit out of control.

I'll update soon!



Three Days Off

I've had the luxury of having a three day weekend of sorts.

Saturday I was allowed to sit around all day, basically.
I woke up to find Rachel asleep in mom's room, and watched her relocate to her room.
I played Sims 3 for two hours, then woke Rachel up.
We went to one store and walked out after standing there lost for two minutes because the lines were so long.
We then went to another store that is in the same strip mall and wandered around looking at all of the super-cool stuff. We ended up leaving with Paki and Turkish Delight, which I haven't tried yet.
When we got home, Dad was here, so we all came inside and hung out for a bit.
I left about thirty minutes later to meet up with John at the movie theater, and we have the pleasure of seeing "Iron Man II" together.
I thought the movie took forever to set up, and had no idea who this random bad guy that they threw into the mix was, but I liked the movie. I liked it more toward the end than the beginning, obviously, but it was still a good movie.
We talked afterward, and I ended up crying because I started talking about things that I usually avoid. I'm sure it doesn't help that I've been overly hormonal lately. I thought that maybe John would freak out, but he didn't. I was surprised when he was nice enough to just... hold me for a minute or so while I tried collecting myself. That, honestly, is the mark of a best friend; someone who comforts you when you need it, and will listen no matter what you have to say. He's such a great guy, and I'm really lucky to have him in my life.
Anyway, the talk was nice. I'm glad that he wanted to talk and catch up afterward : )
When I got home, I hung out with Rachel for a bit longer, and we eventually tried building a bookshelf that collapsed when we were |--| that close to finishing.
We went to WalMart at 2 a.m. and built the second one, which now stands to the left of my bed. I was awake until four a.m. rearranging books, my owl collection, and my other pretty things on the shelves.
Rachel and I also made a video of us singing to her boyfriend, which was kind of fun.

Sunday I woke up around 1:30 p. m. to noises that I didn't need to hear, showered, played Sims 3, bid my sister and her boyfriend goodbye, got ready, ran to a conveinance store, and headed on over to Kimmi's for her joint grad party with her brother Rob.
Honestly, though there were some awkward moments, I had a really awesome time celebrating with Kimmi, Rob, and a ton of our mutual friends. We played Volleyball, ate good food, talked, laughed, and sat in the hot tub. I had a great and fantastic night, and it was awesome to get to hang out with so many spectacular people.
When I got home, I fixed my hair a tad and left with dad to go to WalMart.
We were there for a couple of hours, and I ended up finding two t-shirts in the men's department (a cookie monster shirt, and a purple shirt with a batman logo on it) for $7.50 (as a side note, why should the men get all of the cool shirts, huh!?).
When we got home, I presented the surprise cake that I got for Rachel's boyfriend. He seemed pretty surprised; I think sometimes he thinks that I don't care for him. If that were true (which I am pretty sure it isn't, though it may be sometimes - sometimes I just don't like people, no matter who they are) I wouldn't have bothered with the cake.
Dad and Ben left really late, and Rachel and I settled in to watch South Park/play on the internet.
Obviously I didn't get into bed until late, so obviously I didn't wake up until late.

Well okay.
I woke up to my phone ringing at 10, and answered it at 11:30 when mom called back.
I went to wake Rachel up, where I recieved a "I will hurt you if you don't go away," and got into a fight with her over her damn box fan. Never. Again.
I was the one who ended up crying and coming back to my room to try to sleep.
Rachel came and apologized, and obviously I didn't respond right away. Why should I have? I was trying to do mom a favor by waking her up, and Rachel threw a temper tantrum.
We did end up making up, which is good, but Hell. Never again.
I slept from whenever Rachel left me alone to almost 3 this afternoon.
I went in to mom's room for a bit, went to the living room, and ended up going back and forth for a little while.
Ethan came over, dad came over, and I got to deal with a chatty teenager (who I love dearly) and a still-drunk dad while trying to relax.
After we all ate (the kids were nice enough to provide me with chicken nuggets that were oh so very good), Ethan left with his mom (who dropped in after a little while) and my family and I went to the laundromat to wash our clothes.
Dad left when we got back here, and mom, Rachel and I settled in to watch TV/chat.
Rachel went to bed eventually, and I sat up with mom until 3 despite a headache that just wouldn't go away.
I played Sims 3 and laughed at all of the late night shows with her, and at 3 we said goodnight and went to our separate rooms.
I popped in "Dan in Real Life," which I never get tired of watching. There are SO many good quotes and life lessons and it's just... a wonderful feel good movie.
I should probably sleep soon, though; I work tomorrow around 5:30, and though that's late in the day, I should probably wake up decently.

I know it seems like I really didn't rest at all on this "three day weekend," but I so did.
And, even if I didn't, who needs rest anyway? Seeing people and doing things is much more fun.
And it also seems like I spend a lot of time crying these days. I don't know what it is (Or maybe I do and just don't feel like throwing that out here quite yet), but it needs to maybe kind of sort of stop.

Oh! I forgot to mention that I started, and finished, "The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner" by Stephenie Meyer today. It was oh so very good, and a quick read. It was kind of upsetting that things couldn't work out for Bree and Diego, though; even Stephenie wishes that she could write things differently.

Alrighty, that's all from me. I've been typing for the past 45 minutes.
Goodnight : )



A lot of work.

This week is mainly work.

Tuesday I went to work.
I was able to sit around my house until I went to work around 5:15 that afternoon.

Wednesday I went to work.
I worked 1 to close that night.
It was just a really long day, but it was also good.
I worked on the truck and eventually had to do my normal job.
We got out early that day, so that improved my mood.
I also worked with a lot of awesome people, which helped.

Thursday? Work.
I worked 2 to close, and was thrown into framing whenever I got there.
Framing, to me, is incredibly confusing. At the moment it's being reset, so that just adds to it. I finally got to where I knew where the sizes and brands were, for the most part, and now I have no idea where anything is. Though my manager was awesome and helped with a lot of it, it took a lot of patience to get through that part of my day.
I was kind of hungry and cranky at one point, but got to go on a lunch.
I got a grilled chicken wrap, fries (which I shared with the manager on duty, because there was no way that I could eat them all), and a CHERRY SLUSH. That slush was amazing, and I kept going back in order to get a drink of it. Honestly, despite the fact that the guy that I'm interested in was there, that slush made my day.
We actually got out of there around 9:15, which is AWESOME.

Well, right now I'm watching the "Tyra" show and getting frustrated with these boys that are attached to their mother's hip. I mean, yeah, have that good relationship with your mother, but cut the cord eventually. These men's mothers are running their day to day lives and inserting themselves within their relationships. There should be boundaries within men's lives when it comes to that, and there does come a time when the mother should separate.
Oh, and after going on three days TOGETHER, this mother chooses NONE of the girls, even though she LIKED one. What the crap. YOU BETTER GO OUT WITH HER, you stupid boy.
Good, that's better.
Okay, so the above may not have made much sense; I'm not really paying much attention to what my fingers are typing.
I work at 5:30 today, so I should probably eat something, do my hair, do my makeup, get dressed, and ge there on time like a good little girl.

Talk to you soon!



Brain Overload

It's only, technically, been three days since I posted last, and already my brain is overloaded.
"Tell them what you did these past couple of days!" it shouts. "I need more room to focus on the future, instead of the past!"
Okay, brain. I'll write. But only for you : )

Saturday I woke up really late in the day and didn't do anything until I had to get ready for work.
Thirty minutes after I woke up, when I was trying to get out of my half-asleep faze, one of my managers texted me asking if I could pick up a shift for Sunday.
I said yes, because I knew I didn't have anything going on (and there is this guy that I work with, who I don't mind seeing or working with) and I could totally use the extra money.
I went to work that afternoon to discover that I was the only person out on the floor besides the manager on duty, so we had to figure out a game plan for that.
Also, I was only there for two minutes before having to clean up neon green paint and getting it all over my hands, and on my pants. Oh the perks of working in a craft store...
I started go backs and recovery as soon as I got there, and didn't get called up to the register one time.
I finished recovery really early, went through it three times, pulled signs, and did go backs again. Amazingly, thanks to the amazing crew and manager that night, we left at 10 p.m. We could have been there so, so much later.
I got food on the way home, was home long enough to eat, and went over to Rae's parent's house where I enjoyed the rest of girl's night.
I chatted with her mom, sister, and two other friends.
One of them left eventually, and her mom and sister went to sleep.
The other friend (who's name I am not revealing only because I'm not sure how she would feel about it), Rae and I snuck out front with car paint and wrote on her younger sister's car. There was a moment when Rae climbed up on the car (she is averagely pregnant at the moment) and I stood there, waiting to catch her and hoping that she didn't fall because 1) the baby growing inside of her and 2) there was a rose bush right behind me and I didn't want to fall back into that. Her friend snapped a picture of Rae laughing hysterically and me looking fearful. That is one of the best moments in our friendship, I think : )
The paint I used to paint the car (also green) ended up running, so I tried to stop it with my fingers, and did so successfully a couple of times. By the time we were done, I had green paint on my shirt, all over my hands, and on the green and blue markers. I also got blue paint on that very same shirt, and I'm sure there is some on my jeans... Paint and I obviously get along way too well. It's Monday and I still have some on my hands, after washing them quite a few times.
When we got inside, we talked and eventually put "Avatar" in, and tried watching it. Her friend went home around 2 a.m., and Rae and I tried very hard to get through the movie. We talked about her, her life now, boys, her kids, the movie... everything. I really, really miss that about our friendship. When she's not here, we don't talk as much. I'm going to try implementing an e-mail schedule, because I miss her all of the time and we don't talk nearly enough.
I left around 4 a.m. and came home with every intention of going to sleep.
It didn't happen.
I ended up talking to my sister and her boyfriend for an hour, and finally deciding that I really needed to sleep.

The next morning (Sunday), I woke up at 9:55 to my phone ringing.
I was actually kind of astounded, because I set three alarms and thought I was doing pretty welll; I was dreaming about being awake, actually.
"Where are you?" my friend asks.
"Craaaap," I say.
"She's still asleep!" I hear her say.
"I'm getting up - I'm out of bed," I replied as I leapt out of bed like a ninja. "Can I talk to [insert our manager's name here]?"
"Yeah, hold on."
I quickly explained that I overslept (obviously) and asked if I could be there in thirty minutes. He said yes, so I quickly grabbed breakfast, got ready, and hauled ass to work, finally clocking in.
After grabbing a walkie talkie, I went to my register and stood there from 10:35 to noon. I took a break and wrote vigorously, then was back on the register from 12:20 to my lunch. I quickly drove somewhere and bought food, then ate and wrote more, clocking back in thirty minutes later. After another seemingly lengthy period of time on the register, I got my final break, and stood there for another two hours.
I don't mind the register sometimes. I really, truly don't. But sometimes asking "How are you today?," "Did you find everything okay?," "Can I get your zip code?" and saying "Have a nice day!" a zillion times gets old. A whole shift can be brutal, and threatens my sanity. It worked out nicely, anyway. I did almost offend a man because I asked him how he could get the "wrong stuff," thinking that we made the mistake. He looked at me and said "Because I'm a man!" I started laughing and apologized and explained what I meant, and he didn't seem to mind me too much afterward.
I got off at six and drove home to find my sister and her boyfriend chillin' in the living room.
Her boyfriend looked through our video games and helped us pick ones to trade in (for Super Mario Galaxy 2 and/or PS3 games that I'll actually play, because I haven't touched our PS3 since I pulled it out of the box), so we drove to a game stop, then another before realizing that they closed at six. We then made our way to Wal-Mart, where I bought "The Sims 3 Ambitions" expansion pack and "Pride and Prejudice."
When we got home, mom was home and dad was here, so her boyfriend left and allowed us to have some family time.
I started playing my game, and kind of played Wii sports with dad and Rachel for a bit.
When dad left, I sat on the couch for a bit longer and eventually retired to my bed where I continued to surf the web.
I went to sleep kind of late.

Today I woke up at 12:30 to no electricity; my city was doing scheduled outages, apparently.
I fell asleep for another hour, and woke up for the rest of the day.
I grabbed some food and started pulling all of my stuff out of my plastic storage drawer things, and spent an hour or two moving everything into one. I then straightened up my sister's bookshelf, vacuumed the hallway, and cleaned our bathroom. During all of this, I got phone calls from my uncle, my aunt and cousin came by, and my sister's friend came over; all I wanted was some peace!
My mom and sister arrived home around 5:20, and my mom's friend dropped in unexpectedly to our surprise, and dad was here by 7.
He cooked us hamburgers, and my sister, dad and I eventually went to the laundromat to do laundry.
An hour later, we dragged our soaking wet clothes into the house and sat down to watch "Criminal Minds" while dad's clothes started to dry.
He left for work shortly after that (sans clothes since they weren't dry), and Rachel and I finished "Criminal Minds," then headed to a couple of grocery stores in search of laundry baskets. I then proceeded to buy $50 worth of crap (though I did get a $5 pair of handcuffs and a bow and arrow set) and came home to share the wealth.
I helped mom with the laundry some, then came back here with Rachel to watch a movie/clean my room.
My room is clean and the movie ("August Rush") is over.
I'm actually going to go play Sims 3, but I wanted to get all of this jotted down; it's a wonder my brain didn't explode due to all of the stuff I've held in.

I'll write soon : )



More Vloggy than Bloggy.

So this post will be in the random style of my vlogs, because I honestly can't remember when things happened.
The time between my last blog and this one is a fun, intense, and crazy blur.

I've been working a lot (well, okay, not a lot compared to other's jobs, but a lot compared to the days I get off a week).
I worked Tuesday through Thursday this week.
Each night, as usual, had their own respective ups and downs, but I liked them all for the most part.

I played Sims 3 some after I got home, and I've jacked one of the games up so much that I'm between a rock and a hard place about what to do with a few members of this particular family.

I started hand writing a novel that floated around in my head for two months before I started it, and I realized a day or so ago that what I've written can't stay that way, so I'm kind of bummed. I haven't worked on it much since then, but am really excited to start working on it again. I have a solidified plan that I'm going to roll with, though I am writing it in choppy, out-of-order segments that I will eventually piece together in some sort of a time line. And it's in first person, but it isn't about me. That's all you get for now : )

I took my sister to the water park yesterday, and we stayed for a couple of hours. We went in this lazy river type thing four times, rode a water slide once, tried to ride the largest of them (I had to go back down; I'm afraid of heights, and this water slide is entirely too large. I got scared waiting in line and couldn't wait anymore, so my sister was nice enough to walk back down with me and do something else), went in a wave pool and almost drowned (Yeah, that's the second most memorable water incident; it's a wonder I'm not afraid of water), and played in the kiddie area for a little bit (there was a HUGE bucket of water at the top that would tip over and spill water all of over the kids below. I went under it on purpose once, and it roughed me up some. When my sister and I were starting to leave that part of the park, I accidentally stopped under it and got soaked again. Yes, I screamed like a little girl.). We left around two, stopped for slurpees on the way home, and enjoyed each others company (she worked on a novel, and I played Sims 3) until I showered.
At around six, I picked Kimmi up and we headed to the theater to see a movie. We bought tickets and watched "Killers." We actually got there before the credits of the previous showing were over, so we got to listen to all of the pre-movie stuff and see the previews. It was actually a pretty cute movie, but it wasn't super-amazing-so-you-have-to-watch-it worthy.
After the movie, I dropped Kimmi off at home and came home to a message written on the back of my car. I was kind of mad at first, but now I realize that it's not such a huge deal. I should be grateful that they wanted to include me in their little game, even if I didn't ask for them to mark on my car. I know who did it, and them refusing to wash it off only added to my frustration, but whatever. It's summer. I'll do it one of these days before or after work.

As for my attitude lately...
I'm fine when it comes to most people, but there are some that do things that grind my gears a little bit.
With that said, I know I've been frustrating to others.
It's the way the world works, I suppose.
Sorry for being frustrating to you. I'll work on whatever is frustrating you, and myself (because believe it or not sometimes the latter happens!)
I will throw in here that I am not the only person doing things wrong. I don't appreciate trying to have a serious conversation with people about issues I have with them, and hearing about what I'M doing wrong. Don't get me wrong, the second conversation I had about the SAME issue was warranted, but the first and third came out of nowhere and just pissed me off.

Aaaannnnddd I suppose that's all.
I'll blog soon : )



"Whatever, it's a Jungle Movie!"

I'm not sure where I left off, but here's a blog anyway.

Saturday I went to work and actually got off at a decent time.
I walked into my house to find my mom's friend, my dad, mom and sister chatting and doing their own things.
Dad left around 10, and my mom's friend distracted us for awhile as my sister, mom and I tried to get ready to go out of town.
At 11 p.m. we pulled out of my driveway, and some time later we arrived at my grandma's.
After letting ourselves in, we attempted settling in to our respective rooms without waking my grandma and uncle. Since they have two dogs that are kind of yappy and know when ANYONE so much as passes by the house, this plan failed.
We visited with my grandma and uncle for a bit, then decided that it was time for bed. Rachel and I watched a couple of movies while I played Spider Solitaire and Sims 3, and I crashed around 4 a.m.

I woke up around 3 p.m. on Saturday and wandered around groggy for a bit.
Eventually, Rachel and I got ready and headed to the river to chill on a floaty and perhaps swim.
We floated for awhile in the shade and tried not to fall into the river. Rachel eventually gave up and just jumped in, kind of freaking out about the murky water and dog paddling to the boat ramp in order to climb out.
After getting on a boat that ended up not working properly, I decided to call it a day; I didn't want to float anymore, and I didn't want to swim in the part of the river that we were stuck in (though Rachel DID splash me, so I still got wet).
Upon arriving to my grandma's, I broke out the sprinkler and hose and started dancing through it. When Rachel finished pouting about leaving the river, she joined me and we had a grand ol' time spraying each other with the hose and acting like idiots.
When we went inside, we dried off and ate a really yummy dinner.
I showered afterward, and settled into a chair to play Sims 3 and watch TV.
I joined my sister eventually because my uncle was drunk and chatty, which usually bothers me after awhile.
We watched "River Monsters" on Animal Planet while I played my game, and when mom wanted to sleep we moved to my room.
After watching a couple more movies and staying up until 5 a.m., we both went to sleep.

I woke up at 2:30 p.m. and walked outside to find everyone besides my mom asleep. After finding food I plopped down in a chair, where (I hate to say it) I spent the majority of my day. I played Sims 3, talked to whoever passed by, and watched random movies on TV. I eventually did get ready for my day and helped mom with groceries and such, but most of my day was spent in the chair.
I eventually packed up, made my bed, helped Rachel make the other bed, and loaded up the car. We pulled out of their driveway at 11:05 p.m., and made it home some time later; I was actually trying to get here faster than we got there.
When we got home I cleaned my room some, unpacked, and cleaned off my computer desk. Now I'm in a chair and hanging out with my family while chatting with Miss Alex.
It's been a nice night, and a nice weekend.

I'm going to go now. Not really wanting to blog, but needed to at the same time.
I'll write soon : )