Today was really good.

I slept 'til 12:30 this afternoon.
Played some "Animal Crossing." I was excited because I had a pocket full of fish and random items to sell. I was also excited because last night I found a Cannon from Super Mario in a flying present, and I caught this HUGE moth that I've been wanting to catch for awhile. Whoo!
I ended up watching "Bedtime Stories" with mom, and got ready after the movie was over.
I somehow managed to clamp my straightener down on my wrist as I was doing my hair, so I have two lovely triangular burn marks on my wrist where it touched. Ouch.
Once I was ready I drove mom and I to the grocery store where we can buy EVERYTHING in bulk. I texted Mason off and on while we were there, and I was SO EXCITED because it was FREE SAMPLE DAY! I love free sample day. I only got a piece of M&M cookie, and some chicken/beef fajita mix, but it was good.
When we got home Rachel had arrived, so we worked on cheering her up and prepared to go to Barnes and Noble.
We were there for almost an hour, looking at all of the books. I could stay in that bookstore for hours and hours, but alas we did have to leave eventually. I wore my favorite black and gold Batman t-shirt today and attracted attention from a Marvel fan. At first it was fine; we were chatting and I knew what he was talking about. The next minute, he's having trouble focusing on what to say and steering the conversation every which-a-way and talking loudly and getting pretty intimidating. I kept slowly backing away, trying to silently signal my sister and mom that I was ready to leave, finding something else to look at, and failing. Then a received a text message from John saying that he was on his way, and I was able to say "Mom, we need to go right now." The guy hurried away as soon as I said that, and we said goodbye and headed to check out. I left with "Fang" by James Patterson, "The Complete Works of Emily Dickenson," and "A Wolf at the Table" by Auguston Burroughs (the Prequel to "Running with Scissors). I'm very, very excited about these few books. I almost bought "The Girl Who Played With Fire" by Stieg Larsson, but I refrained because there is no telling when I will feel like reading that. I got Rachel a couple of anime books, too, which she appreciated.
When we got home I ended up checking things out on the Internet, talking to my family, and John arrived a few minutes later. I was really excited to see him; it felt like a month since we'd hung out last.
We ended up going to Subway and catching up. We came back home so I could pee, then went out to the walking trail and walked and talked. We went to the park to swing, and finished the walking trail after getting our fill. We chatted and joked around and had quite a funny conversation as we got into the car. Can't wait to see if that conversation becomes reality. We ended up watching a movie with mom when we got home that turned out to be pretty decent thought I thought it was boring. He left around 11, and here I am blogging.
This visit was awesome. It seemed normal and fun and carefree with no confusion as to what we mean to each other or what our relationship is. We're friends, best friends, that can talk about anything and everything and still feel comfortable. I'm really happy that we're friends; our friendship is certainly a rare one.

I'm watching TV at the moment, texting Kimmi, and I maaaay read "Fang" a bit. I'm honestly entirely too full of energy right now, though, so I may need to go on another walk or focus really hard on calming myself down.

Tomorrow is my first day of training to be a Front End Supervisor. I clock in at 10 a.m. and go home at 3 p.m. I'm excited, yet sort of nervous, but I know I can do it.
After work (at around 7 or 8 p.m.), we're going to see "Eclipse" FINALLY. I'm excited.

We sent Ethan's stuff to his parent's house today, so he no longer lives here. Honestly, it feels great just being with my mom and sister again. These past few weeks have been trecherous and I'm glad they're over.

Mmmkay that's all from me today.
See you tomorrow for the start of BEDA!

Currently Reading: "Fang" by James Patterson



Times are Changing, Good Things are Coming

For those who don't know, I've been going pretty stinkin' crazy the past few weeks.
I've been having a rough time dealing with my family, getting into arguements with them, bending to the will of a sixteen-year-old entirey too often, and trying to stay sane enough to go to work and live a normal life.
Thankfully, I think the worst of all of that is over, and things are about to improve.

- Ethan is moving out soon. Most likely. This is the second night that he's been at his parent's house, so I figure he'll go ahead and move home.

- I'm getting a promotion. I'm being promoted from a sales floor associate to a front end supervisor. I'm getting a raise, I'll be in a position of authority, dealing with customers on an entirely different level, and deal with the cash drawer/closing registers when I close. This will be challenging, yet fun. I think I can do it. I'll still recover, so that's good; something is remaining consistant in this time of change. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. I start training on Monday, and by Friday I should be able to function by myself. Bring it on!
As a side note, tonight was my last night closing on the floor and recovering Arts and Crafts. Kind of bittersweet : /

- We're getting a new washing machine. A guy down one of the streets bordering ours is a washing machine repairman, and he said ours just cannot be fixed. So mom is buying a referbished one for under $200. I honestly can't wait; I would love to be able to do laundry at home again.

- I get to see John tomorrow, which I have actually been waiting to do for two weeks. I don't know what we're doing or where we're going, but I don't really care. I miss him and can't wait to catch up.

- I get to see Mason on Monday for the first time since the Spring Semester, which I'm pretty stoked about as well. I don't know what we're doing, but again I don't really care. I'm just excited to see him.

- Speaking of guys, I haven't seen Eric2 in two weeks either which is kind of a bummer. If you read this, we need to fix that.

- I bought two WheezyWaiter t-shirts, which I'm going to LOVE. I can't wait to get those in the mail.

- The guy at work that I've been kind of sort of interested in for awhile got a ton more cute lately. I've been trying to work up the courage to ask to exchange numbers and hang out, but that hasn't happened. I did almost do it today, but I was too busy panicking because I had no idea what to do with the stuff on the U-boat I was working on. Oh work. And guys.

- School starts in a MONTH. I'm stoked. I can't wait to finish this semester and go through next semester and get a degree. Heeeck yes!
Side note: I think I've decided to become an English Professor when I grow up. Maybe do some freelance editing for people; I'm an editing machine.

- I'm doing Blog Every Day in August, so look for that. I'll try to keep the posts kind of short, because who wants to read an INCREDIBLY LONG blog post every day? Noooot me.

Okay, I suppose that's all of the good things for now.
I'm going to go beat my body into submission with more tylenol.

I'll write soon!

Last Book Finished: "Max" by James Patterson
Memorable Quote: "Your mind creates your reality. If you expect nothing, you open up the universe to give you options. If you expect the worst, you usually get it." - The Voice



I Am Too Tired To Think Deeper Than This

Today was decent.
I woke up at 7:30 a.m. (after four hours of sleep) to a talk show that started creeping me out, and sat up when I recieved a text message from a coworker; she knows that I have a tendency to sleep in way past my early morning shift time, so she made sure I was awake. Thanks!
I sat with my computer in my lap for a minute, ate breakfast, and headed out without saying too much to anyone; they were all asleep still.
I worked until I got a break, and I got in trouble when I got back because I didn't (though I honestly can't tell you why) let a manager know I was going on break. I can see how that would be helpful, but to have two people tell me three times despite the fact that they were already told where I was was a bit much. Nevertheless, my lesson was learned, and I'll continue to let them know as I usually do. I came back from break early and helped with the rest of the truck, and took my lunch at 1:18. I left my debit card at home on my dresser, so I had to come home instead of getting sonic. I scarfed down a burger and half a yogurt in ten minutes, and left to go back to work. When I got back I put quite a few beads away, and by the time my coworker returned from her lunch we had thirty minutes left of our shift. We did what we could, said hello to our arriving coworker, and clocked out at 3.
After turning in my walkie talkie and gun, I walked out with the first of my coworkers and drove home.
On the way home I stopped at my uncle's to grab Owen's swimsuit, a towel for him, and some money that I didn't spend.
We sat around for a couple of hours after Owen got here and I looked up pools in the area. Around five we left my house, and we arrived at the pool some time later. We swam for an hour (until my body couldn't handle it anymore), then I drove us to a pizza place and brought that home for dinner.
Not a wise choice for someone who is supposed to be dieting, but I had a few other people (five, to be exact) to worry about.
I talked to Kimmi for a bit, watched "Plain Jane," and got EXTREMELY happy for Kristen and Ty.
I took Owen home around 9, showered, and now I'm sitting on my couch watching Ethan play MWII.
This level doesn't make sense to me. He's posing as a Russian, and had to shoot an entire bank full of people in order to progress. Vengeful violence, I understand. Senseless violence? I don't understand that at all, and it makes me cringe.

I think I'm going to go read some more of my book. It's a quick read and doesn't take much thought, which is what I need after reading the last one I did.

Currently Reading: "Max" by James Patterson, Chapter 24 Page 101


Suddenly Sleepy

It's been a normal day.
I woke up around 1 p.m.
I had a dream in which I hung out with two married men, and actually was in a bed with one of them. We didn't kiss or have sex; that would be against the rules. We just layed there, and he held me. It was nice, though I remember thinking "This really shouldn't be happening." Then all of the sudden I was using "Alejandro" by Lady Gaga to try to figure out who I was with - Alejandro or Fernando. That didn't make sense since neither of them were hispanic and I know who they actually are, but I thought it humerous that I tried to use Lady Gaga logic to figure out who he was.
My subconscious is truly a weird subconscious.
I wouldn't even be AROUND a bed with a married man, much less in one. Blah.
I sat in here on my laptop for a bit, then relocated to the living room to play Animal Crossing while the kids ran errands.
When they got back we traded out players, and I had to cook myself brunch (eggs and toast) and get ready for work.
I left 10 minutes to five, clocked in, and set to the task of finding my manager.
I ended up getting a scanner (which we lovingly refer to as a "gun"), a cart FULL of go backs, and put them back. Then I started recovery since my side was trashed, took a break and started a new book, and finished recovery. There were kids tearing apart our store 30 minutes to close, and fifteen minutes to close, but I was more focused on the beading department where the first batch of kids struck. There were beads EVERYWHERE.
While in there, I suddenly looked up to discover a brand new section which I gushed about over our walkie talkies for a good two minutes. I love that section. It has fairies and owls and everything is cute. One of the customers in beading goes "You're going to make me have to take a look."
I replied with "You need to! These are just too cute!"
So I got out of her way and she did. Yay!
Twenty minutes later I escaped beads, helped my coworker clean up suncatcher paint that was all over one aisle, got sticky, got red glittery paint on my finger (which stains the skin I'm guessing, because I'm having a hard time getting it off) by pushing the cart, and put the rest of the go backs away.
I came home to a darkened house, and the kids going to bed.
Rachel went to bed, Ben was indecisive as to what to do, Ethan got up to eat, I got my dinner, and mom went back to her room when I said I wanted to play Animal Crossing.
I ate fish while catching fish, then let Ben turn it off and put Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in. Mom watched that with us and fell asleep off and on, and poor Ben isn't part of the fandom so he didn't understand my excitement. I talked to Kimmi and one of my friends from Yoga last semester about it though, and they completely understood.
After the movie, we turned out the lights and dispersed.
Now I'm in my bed and writing to you. Yay!

I should be asleep because I have to be at work at 9 a.m.
I'm not a morning person, so this should be interesting.

Currently Reading: "Max" by James Patterson




I finished the book.
I. Finished. The. Book.
I read through half of yesterday, and the vast majority of today.
I had 1/4 of the book left to finish (the final part and half of the part before that).
It took me until thirty minutes ago to finish it and cast it aside.
I will not lie, it did get better for awhile.
I was sucked in, and could not put it down.
Then they solved the mystery that they were working on, and went back to talking about the Corporate Mobster Guy that the male main character was trying to take down.
There were bits and pieces of that part that tried to suck me in, but no dice; the last part was almost painful to read. And not in the "I never want this book to end!" kind of way.
More like the "WHY DO I HAVE TO READ 40 MORE PAGES!?!?"
I respect what the author did. He took a murder mystery and mixed it with journalism and finance and trips across countries and... he's gifted when it comes to writing. I will admit that.
But this book just wasn't for me.
Yes, I will read it's sequals because I want to know what happens to the two main characters, but I will not purchase either or read either in awhile. I need to give my brain some time to stop hating me.
I'm not sure which book will be next, though I do think it will be a lot less thick and a much quicker read.

Today (technically yesterday), I got to sleep in until one and made myself get out of bed and claim my spot on the couch.
I ended up getting sucked into a discussion with Ethan about where he wanted to go vs. what he could do, and will admittedly say that I was half asleep and probably shouldn't have said anything at all. But I did because the sensor in my brain that says "Hey, you probably shouldn't say that" doesn't switch on very often. Go figure.
We ended up going to do our laundry (after playing Animal Crossing and eating), and when we got back home I broke out the game again. I read a ton of my book today as previously mentioned, so you can figure out for yourself just how long my nose was in it (at the laundromat, in the car, outside the grocery store, before dinner, after dinner, in between rounds of animal crossing, while holding conversations via Facebook, etc.).
I did end up going to the grocery store with mom after we dropped Ethan off at work.
When we got home, we made sure dad was awake. He came over about an hour later and cooked dinner for us (hamburgers and french fries).
I watched some "Criminal Minds," at dinner, watched other TV shows with mom, and eventually took a shower.
Mom went to pick Ethan up and went back to her room after they got home. She piddled around as usual after a bit, and all the while I had my nose in my book.
I'm finally finished with the book, and don't have to read it again for a seemingly large amoutn of time. I am happy.

I should go. It's 4 a.m. and it's my bed time.
I'll write soon (you shouldn't have any doubts by this time that I will).

Recent Book Finished: "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" by Stieg Larsson.
Rating: 6 out of 10 stars, and I think I'm being more than generous.



Movies I Want to See

- Letters to Juliet
- Despicable Me
- Knight and Day
- Ramona and Beezus (Dollar Movies)
- The Karate Kid (Dollar Movies)
- The Sourcerer's Apprentice
- Eclipse (Seeing it on Sunday!)
- Toy Story 3
- The Last Airbender
- Cat vs Dogs II (Dollar Movies?)


111th Post

For those of you who aren't aware (very few are, really), I joined Blogger in 2006.
I put a hastily written profile that stated that I didn't want to meet anyone through this, and didn't even plan on using the blog; I was just trying to keep up with one of my friends.
It's safe to guess that my screen name was Midgety Hobbit, and I have no idea what the title of the blog was.
I stumbled upon it randomly one day (could have been the day I googled myself, or through an email that blogger sent me), and have since changed everything.
The name is different, the profile is entirely different, there's a picture that I like, and I'm using this as my main blog.
The transition from secondary to main blog is very recent and I'm not sure how long it will last. I hate that this blog is so public, and that there are no privacy settings. I am careful with what I say and how I say it, and I'm vague whenever I need to be. I try my best not to include information beyond the basics so as not to get myself or anyone else into trouble. On my other blog, I didn't have that problem.
Anyway, so I've been using it throughout this year, and am now on post 111. That's a pretty big deal, since I created the blog four years ago with no intention of using it.

Today was pretty awesomely good.
I woke up around 12:30 p.m. because my body couldn't be asleep anymore. Yes, my eyelids were still heavy, but my body was ready to go.
I woke up, hauled my laptop and book to the living room, plopped down onto the couch, chatted with Rachel and Ethan, and ended up playing "Animal Crossing."
At some point I did make myself some eggs and toast, and actually opened my laptop. I started researching movie times for "Inception," and ended up having to get ready fairly quickly in order to make one of the afternoon ones.
Rachel and I arrived at the theater around 4:10, purchased our tickets for the 4:10 showing, and rode the escalaters to our theater.
This movie blew my mind several times. I had a hard time keeping their reality and their dreams separate for the first half of the film, which was the point I'm sure. I caught on toward the middle, but was still blown away at how complex everything was and how precise things had to be. The ending, however, pissed me off. We were left with no real conclusion and to speculate what exactly happened. To me, it was obvious what happened, but since the movie wasn't concluded I got to argue for an hour and a half with Rachel about what the ending was. I even asked Eric, who was nice enough to explain it to me, and even though I told her what he said she still wouldn't believe me.
At 7, we pulled into our driveway, and I called dad to make sure he was awake. He came over around 7:30, and asked if we wanted to go out to eat. Rachel, he and I ended up at an all you can eat Chinese food buffet that we've been to a few times. I'm not a fan of Chinese food, but I did load my plate with a salad, a couple different kinds of shrimp, corn nuggets, a roll, bacon shrimp, and grapes. I ate a lot of what was on my plate and got pretty full. I went back for dessert, which consisted of a weird cookie that didn't taste good and some cantelope, eventually stealing a few bites of Rachel's ice cream.
When we got home, we all flopped into our designated spots and I ended up reading and talking to Kimmi for awhile. We have tentative plans to take a trip in a few months, which I'm actually pretty excited about. I haven't been to our chosen destination in awhile, and am quite looking forward to going there again.
I ended up researching the movie adaptation of "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo," and there are two versions within two years of each other. One was released in 2009, and one is supposedly being released in 2011. They make the movie seem really intriguing, and I'm hoping that they pull it off because the book is far less exciting than all of that. Well, it is up until part II, then it picks up a bit. But even at page 381 it seems boring at times. All that is keeping me going at the moment is that I want to see what happens at the end.

I suppose that's all I have for today.
I'll write soon.
Maybe tomorrow, maybe not until the next day.
We'll see.

Currently Reading: "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" by Stieg Larsson
Awesome Backstory: Stieg Larsson died in 2004 shortly after he delivered the manuscripts for his trilogy. He didn't live to see his books in print.


Hello, You.

Today was great at first. I woke up and watched an episode of "Gargoyles" with Rachel, then one of "Cowboy Bebop." I eventually ate, and all was fine until mom came into the room and informed me that she wanted Ethan to stay longer than originally planned. "Long enough for him to save money for a car," she said.
They know how I feel about him being here, and how much this situation is driving me crazy. I whined at first, then I got mad. I finally ended up walking away, because we weren't getting anywhere; I was just getting more pissed off and frustrated, and mom obviously wasn't going to come around to my way of thinking at that particular time.
So I got ready for work, ended up crying out of frustration, and got a mini, unneccesary, lecture from my aunt about how families help each other. Yes, okay, please DO tell me about how families help each other when you're the one who threw your son out in the first place. And while you're at it, talk to me like I don't know what sacrifice is and that sometimes it is necessary to do so for your family. I know all about sacrifice and the things that come with it.
Throwing someone out of your house isn't sacrifice; it's disposing of a problem selfishly. And handing it to someone else, who really doesn't need to be raising your child.
Needless to say, I was pretty pissed off by the time I left for work.
Oh family Drama... how I did not miss you.

Work was actually pretty good. The Head Hancho was there again today, and so was one of my friends who I hadn't worked with in awhile, so that was nice.
I got to eat Laffy Taffy, talk with my managers and co workers, and help customers who didn't ask weird questions. The first half of the day was pretty good.
I let my manager know in a round about way that I'd be interested in a promotion. To a Front End Supervisor. Though I'm not a huge fan of the register, I think I could manage that. I could do office stuff, reset planograms, stock things, help customers, ring people up... the usual thing. This came up after he explained to me how things are shifting, and he said he was looking to maybe find another FES.
In response to me saying "Dude, you should give me a shot," he said "Could you yell at those [people] to keep them in line?"
"Yes," I said. "I know how to yell, believe it or not."
"You would have to handle customer complaints about coupons and stuff."
"I'm pretty sure I could do that."
"Huh. Wow. I had no idea that you would be interested. I'll keep that in mind."
So there ya go. I planted the seed, and now all I have to do is wait and see what happens.
I eventually called my mom and patched things up with her and attempted to explain my outbursts earlier today. I did apologize (as I did with Ethan last night). She offered to bring me a snack to work, which I accepted gratefully.
I recovered some, and I have to admit that I started entirely too early. My side kept getting torn up, and I found stuff up until after we closed. On the foam/feather aisle, there was a package of feathers open and spewing everywhere, and quite a few feather boas on the floor... It looked like someone genetically engineered a multi-colored goose, brought it to the aisle, plucked it, and were generous enough to leave the feathers as a gift to me. Thank you, but no thank you.
Mom found me as I was recovering, and we hugged after she presented me with gifts. "You're mine," she said. "I think I'll keep you."
I love her. You have no idea how much I truly do appreciate her, and the unconditional love that she has for me. I would be really, really lost without her and Rachel. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be who I am today; I would be way, way worse.
She left shortly after presenting me with food (yogurt, peanut butter crackers, and a diet coke), and I went back to the break room to put my food away. I ended up taking my break since my coworker was heading back, and I read some more of my book.
Remember that boring book that I complained about a few blogs back? Yeah, neither do I. About halfway through, this book became intriguing and hard to put down. And it's such a quick read now! I hardly recognize this book. I didn't know that Stieg Larsson had it in him.
The rest of the shift was just like any other: I drank some cherry slush that a coworker was nice enough to get me, put away gobacks, recovered, and had a grand old time.
We got out around 9:30, and I came home to my lovely sister greeting me at the door with "Who are you? You don't live here." To which I responded to with a fake pout, turning around, and walking back out. She laughed and said she was kidding. I laughed and came back in the house. Our relationship is weird, yet awesome.
This is the same kid who, when I karate chopped her, pretended to be dead. I love her.
I ended up watching one of "Improv Everywhere"'s videos because she discovered them today and was EXCITED to show me.
I then showered, shaved my legs, and joined the rest of the family in the living room to watch a movie. In between the showering and the rest, I scared Ethan by shouting something down the hall; he had no idea I was home, apparently.
We watched "The Time Traveler's Wife," which was so intricate and weird and saddening and joyous and good all at the same time. I almost cried several times.
We then dispersed to our seperate quarters, and I eventually went into mom's room to chat with she and Ethan.
When I came back in here, I read and watched "Sleeping Beauty." I was actually going to say that I really like something that happens in the middle of it, but I can't remember what it was. Ohhh well.
That brings you up to speed. I'll write soon!

Currently Reading: "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" by Stieg Larsson
Memorable Quotes So Far: "In the evening, he went to the cinema to see The Lord of the Rings, which he had never before had time to see. He thought that Orcs, unlike human beings, were simple and uncomplicated creatures." (Narration)
"And you were just twenty the other day. How fast it all goes. Life, that is." - Cecelia Vanger



Things You May Not Know About Me

- I can pick things up with my toes on both feet.
- I'm fully aware of my flaws, and dislike the vast majority of them.
- With that said, I'm FINE being imperfect. I can never fully change who I am, and I've come to accept that.
- I dance wildly to music when inspired. I don't care if it looks good; I can't dance anyway. I just dance to dance : D
- I've read the first four books in the Harry Potter series five times, and the last three two times each.
- I like having my own copies of books because I like to highlight or underline or bracket inspiring quotes.
- I write, and I'm currently hand-writing a novel that is sitting in two notebooks on my bedroom floor.
- I collect post cards and magnets, as well as owls.
- I sing as loudly and tone deafly as I can in the car on purpose. My sister usually thinks I'm mentally ill when this happens.
- I make up song lyrics to tunes already in existance; it makes my life a bit more interesting.
- I don't have casual sex.
- I sleep with stuffed animals in my bed, and slept with a nightlight until about a year ago.
- I could care less about fashion.
- I watch cartoons and children's movies for fun.
- I've never lived anywhere besides Texas.
- I'm pretty impatient.
- I watch the clock constantly, taking every minute into consideration when I do anything.
- I like food. This is why dieting is so hard.
- I use google more than five times a day. I use it mostly as a spell checker, though I do look up lyrics, voice actors, and whether or not Walt Disney was a Nazi.
- I LIKE video games.
- I care about way more than what is going on right in front of me or what's going on within my life, though I don't broadcast it.
- Some things I have an amazing memory of, while others are just vague after thoughts located in my brain. And no, it's not just the alcohol-induced ones.
- I'm actually pretty shy and somewhat socially awkward. It takes time for me to warm up to people or a situation, but once I am it's smooth sailing.
- I get lost every time I go somewhere new. I try to think of these experiences as "adventures" instead of frustration-and-wasting-time-and-gas.

That's really all I feel like coming up with right now. If I think of more, they will most likely be in a different post.

Today was good.
I woke up, ate, got dressed, and went with mom to drop Rachel off at a pool.
Then we got Ethan from work, who smelled like fried chicken.
Then we went to the Computer Store to get my laptop fixed, and they were nice enough to just exchange it for me with no questions asked. It was only five days past the service date, whatever that means, so they didn't mind doing it.
Then we drove to pick Rachel up.
We got home, I got my new laptop up and running, then I went to work.
Work went pretty well. I worked with the head hancho for the first time in awhile, so that was a lot of fun. I discovered that we have posters at work now, which I am EXCITED about. We have a super cool Marvel one, which I love. We got out kind of early.
I ate dinner when I got home, talked with Rachel, yelled at Ethan when we got home, and came back here. Mom came in to watch a movie with me, but I didn't want to watch that one, so we settled on "The Aristocats." Great choice, in my opinion; it lifted my mood considerably.
Now I'm about to go maybe get a snack (depends on whether or not any food seems appetizing), then apologize to Ethan because no matter how mad I get at him there is no reason for me to treat him badly. He's just a kid, after all. And I'm family. I should work on showing more love than dislike, and more understanding than impatience. Life lessons, for the win.
Goodnight, and I'll write soon.



Good Day That Ends Roughly

Was a good day.

I slept in, talked to a few people that I love talking to, got to sit on the couch and watch "The Neverending Story" with my sister, and sat with my previously-working laptop in my lap.
I even played some Sims 3, because I got the eldest son married last night so I figured I would either a) move he and the wife out or b) get them pregnant. Once I did the second thing, there wasn't anything left to do.
I went with my family to do laundry, after my cousin arrived home.
Yes, his presence here does drive me UP THE WALLS most of the time. It's not that he's here... it's that he's thoughtless and inconsiderate and immature and selfish and thinks that everyone should be there to wait on him and he's sixteen and...
Perhaps I shouldn't be thinking about his flaws too much though, since I have the tendancy to be the first four things I named.
He came home today and said something along the lines of "I drank ______ _____ of ______ ________ after I cleaned my friend's mom's house." Really? So we had to deal with the very sullen and drama filled and enraging and teary aftermath of that little stunt as we were trying to do five people's laundry at the laundromat. Oh what fun...
When we got home, we dried his work shirt first, then mom took him to work as Amanda was arriving. As she arrived he says, and I quote, "A GIRL IS COMING OVER AND SHE IS FINE!" to which I responded "That's my friend Amanda, stop looking at her, get out of here, she isn't even interested in you."
So we got him out of the house, and Amanda, Rachel and I chatted and caught up a bit.
When mom got home, we went to Wendy's because I was craving some chicken nuggets. I ate those, a few fries, and a salad. After Wendy's we got pedicures, which was really nice. It took me forever to figure out how the massage chair worked, but once I did I was in Heaven. At one point the little kneading motions tickled me, because I'm ticklish on my back because I'm weird. The aftermath of this adventure left us with flourescent orange, bright pink, and dark glittery purple toe nails. Awesome!
When we got back home Amanda left and we headed inside.
When we walked in the door, dad said "Hey, I brought y'all Chalupas and tacos from Taco Bell."
Well, okay, he didn't say 'y'all.' I don't think I've ever heard him say y'all... He's from Michigan, ya know.
But yeah. That was really nice. And sweet. Rachel and I dug into the chalupas as soon as we got to the kitchen, because they sounded really good.
After settling into the couch, we watched random TV and I read/played Sims 3.
We picked Ethan up from work around 10, came back home to watch more TV, then he went to bed, then Rachel, then mom, and I've been awake by myself for the past few hours dealing with the loss of my laptop's consciousness.
I did talk to Mason, which helped a ton, and tried reading some.

This book... is... kind of boring. The best parts revolve around the female character who hasn't met the male character yet. There's a lot of drawn out talk about this old guy's family and suspicion of murder and says some things three or four different ways and keeps back tracking and... It's just a bit boring. I actually think that Ben might like it, so I may loan it to him when I finish it. Yes, I am determined to finish it. I'm on Chapter Ten of Part Two, and I'm anxious to see what happens.

I'm sorry I'm so whiny and negative. I'm just upset and lonely. It's amazing how any good day can lead to being lonely. Not a fan of this feeling.

Anyway. I'm going to end the post here, because I've complained enough to last awhile.
I will say that I'm grateful that I don't have problems bigger than this at this moment. Things could be way worse, and I count my blessings every day that they aren't.

I'll write soon.


Type New Post Below, In Paragraph Format, Preferably with Correct Spelling and Grammar

Hello, hello, hello!
It's been awhile.
I think the last thing I talked about was...
Wow, Sunday.
Honestly I thought I left off on Friday.
I suppose there isn't too too much to update you on, then.
Is there?
I guess it depends on whether or not you're the glass half empty or half full person, and the perspective you choose to take on the last couple of sentences.
I need to calm down...

So Monday...
I sat around most of the day with my sister and cousin, and ended up eventually getting ready and swinging us all by a Super Grocery Store of Which I Shall Be Vague About.
I only went inside because I wanted to look at things since I hadn't been there in awhile, and I got sucked into the book section. Yes, I did leave with three more books in my posession, thanks for Asking. I'm not sure what they are, but I DO know that I wanted them, and genuinely thought I needed them. They are still in the bag that I brought them home in, however, and shall remain there until I read the ever growing stack of books on my second dresser. Yes, I have a book addiction... There are so many worse things to be addicted to, so I don't even care.
Ethan got phone minutes and Rachel almost talked me into getting her a $10 movie, but I really didn't feel like giving up one of my books, so I said I would buy it later. And I will, from WalMart, for a cheaper price.
After we got home, Ethan got ready for work and I took him there after a little while.
I ended up camping out in my spot on the couch for awhile. I texted Eric, who ended up coming over. While I was waiting on him, I talked with Amanda on the phone since we hadn't spoken in awhile. We're actually supposed to see each other tomorrow, which I hope happens because I miss her quite a lot.
Eric got here around... 8:30, I think, and we ended up making small talk with my sister, and popping in "Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe." Of course, I didn't have the game already set out, so I had to look on all of the surfaces in the living room to find it. Yes, I'm an excellent planner.
During this particular hangout, I/we...
Played the aforementioned game, and "Soul Caliber III" on the PS2. I kicked some butt, and got my butt kicked. I don't think I beat Eric one time at either game, though I previously promised to kick his ass. Ah well.
Discovered Eric's fondness for cats. He really liked Kitty-Kitty and Sandy, and almost got to discover why we gave our black cat the name Fang.
Introduced him to mom, dad, Rachel, and the four cats. Oh, and Ethan, who promptly shed his shirt because he thought we (Rachel and I) told him to seriously take off his shirt. Why we would seriously do that, I don't know, but it happened to my great surprise.
Speaking of surprises, Rachel suggested that he stay the night. Keep in mind that it was the first time either of us have hung out with the other since Film group, and that was during the Spring Semester. Leave it to Rachel to broach such topics of conversation.
All in all, I think Monday night was an awesome success. We had fun gaming, he treated my sister well, really likes cats, was respectful to my parents, and didn't seem too horrified at the few surprising things that took place. Hopefully we get together again soon : )
After he left, I camped out on the couch again watching Rachel play "Xenosaga" for Ethan. She's a lot further in the game this time around, though since I didn't watch her play I have no idea what part she's on.
I ended up coming to my room kind of late, and mom came in here about an hour after I did. We put in "Definitely Maybe" and watched half of that. She left my room around 3 or 3:30 a.m., and I fell asleep.

Tuesday was a decent day.
All I did was wake up, watch Rachel play "Xenosaga," sit in my room for awhile, eat, get ready for work, and go to work.
Work went pretty well. I was with people that I liked, and we got out of there before 10 p.m. What more could we ask for?
I came home to Ben and Rachel playing MWII, and ended up having to leave even after I was all cozy and in bed to get Ethan. We swung by the grocery store on the way home and I came back to my room once again when we arrived.
Mom ended up coming in around 2 or 3 to finish our movie, and we ended up discussing the negative aspects of Ethan living here. He's a decent kid and I love him, but he's kind of driving us crazy. We didn't take him on to raise; we took him in as a temporary situation because he was thrown into an unfortunate circumstance that I'm sure was a long time coming. It's time for him to make up with his parents and get off of our couch.
Anyway, after our movie (which I honestly really like), I fell asleep.

Today I woke up to my alarm clocks, and couldn't find my cell phone. I shrugged (well, I really just looked for it, groaned and flopped back onto my bed) and returned to the weird dream I was having involving John and travel Downtown. Then, it happened: My side started vibrating and ringing.
Holy crap, I was sleeping on my cell phone.
How does that even happen? Before I sleep, I place it neatly on the corner of my bed, but I almost always end up sleeping on it.
I saw that I had a text message, replied, reset my alarm, replied again, fell asleep, kept hitting snooze, hit snooze, hit snooze... My alarms stopped waking me up.
At 1 p.m., I made myself get out of bed and move to the chair in the living room.
I sat with my laptop until almost 2, ate, made a lunch for work, watched MWII, fluffed out my work clothes, talked with mom, washed my face, did my hair, put on my makeup, got dressed, and put my shoes on. All before 2:45 p.m. I'm awesome at this whole "getting ready for the day" thing.
And this time, I didn't forget my belt.
Work went really well. We were entirely too slow today, though. I ended up going through and making sure there were no holes in my Drive Aisles/End Caps/Power Panels/Clip Strips. I took Two Hours to do that, because I got there at 3 and my lunch wasn't 'til five.
At five I went to lunch, read my book, listened to my iPod, and ate my ravioli/fig neutons/peanut butter crackers.
When I got back, I did some go backs and started recovery. I had time to recover most of my side before my second break, then went back through my side. I did that another two times after I finished, did more go backs, and we were finished by 9:15 tonight.
When I got home I watched MORE MWII, showered, and ended up watching a couple of episodes of "Gargoyles" season II with dad and Rachel.
Rachel went to bed after the episodes, one of which was really, really stupid.
It was about this gray ooze that pregnant-Fox was trying to engineer and control in Australia. They ran into Dingo in the beginning, and he threw a boomerang at the gargoyles, which one of them promptly crushed. Then they fought for five minutes for no apparent reason other than to take time out of the episode. They talk to a Shamen, run into Fox who lost control of the gray ooze, and Goliath and Dingo end up having to go into "dream time" to "talk to it." The episode ends with the gray ooze joining to Dingo, who talked it down by saying it could use a new order called "Law and Order" to control things. Yeah, I felt brain cells exploding all over the place.
The second one wasn't too bad... About Anansi the Spider and Panthers and Africa. I was hoping that this was the last stop on their world tour, but I don't think it is.
I played "Animal Crossing" a bit after that, said bye to dad, and came back here to play Sims 3 and be in Internet head.
And now I'm here. Tada!!!

Okay, now that I've made a sufficiently long post and talked your ear off, I shall be going.
Fare the well!
I shall write soon.




I'm pretty exhausted at the moment (worked from 1 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. ... more on that later), but I wanted to blog really quick.
So bare with me... there may be some spelling and grammatical errors that I'm not going to fix.

Thursday I woke up and basically sat around my house.
I complained about having to wait until 5:30 p.m. to work, because on those days I just... sit. I sit before I leave, work, then come home and sit because I'm too tired to do anything else (though I think on this night after work I watched a movie, then worked out with Ethan, who is living on our couch at present).
I don't really have anything else to say about Thursday... I don't remember how work went that day, so I can't really talk about that, can I?

Friday I was off work, and I enjoyed a leisurely few hours before I got ready and left the house.
Rachel and I drove to Chris' to pick him up, drove back to our neck of the woods, and ended up at a CiCi's.
We ate, chatted, caught up a bit... It was really nice.
Rachel and Chris got along well, which I love seeing; it's nice when my friends accept my sister and treat her well. They talked about Anime and fan dubbing and all kinds of awesome stuff.
I then drove us around trying to find a park, but couldn't find the one I was looking for.
I came home for a second (to get directions to Putt Putt and pee), and Rachel got to show Chris her anime collection. He also got to peek into my room as I was looking up the directions on my laptop, which was probably pretty messy but oh well.
We then drove to the walking trail, walked around it and looked at ducks along the way.
Then I drove us to Putt Putt, where we proceeded to purchase one game and sweat a ton while we attempted to golf. I got some good pictures though (one of them was so terrible it was good), and had a ton of fun despite the heat.
We played a few arcade games after that. My favorite was guitar hero, which I am still pretty bad at. There was another one that was a virtual jump rope that none of us could really do. I tried a massive crane game at one point for seven tokens, and didn't get anything (shocking, I know).
After that, I us to Chris' to drop him off, and Rachel and I headed home ourselves.
I'm sure we did something awesome like watch Ethan play "Modern Warfare," or watch a movie, or both, but I can't really remember.

Saturday I gathered mom, Rachel, and our laundry around 2 p.m. so that we could wash our clothes.
I recieved a call at 1 from my manager, who ended his voicemail with "Oh, and wake up!" He knows me too well.
By the time I finished laundry and showered, it was 3:50 p.m. So I ended up clocking in at four, which was an hour and a half early.
Work was just fine that night, though at the end there were ladies who were shopping TWENTY MINUTES after we closed.
After I came home, I settled into my spot on the couch and ended up watching "According to Greta" with Rachel. It was a dumb movie, but had a decent story line.
I read some of "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" by Steig Larson before I slept; I'm finally at a point where I can read it without having to set it down in order to preserve my mental health, so that's good.

Today was a loooong day.
I woke up at 11:30 a.m., waited for about thirty minutes, then got ready for work.
I clocked in at 1, and from then on it was chaos.
There were questions to be answered, a ton of questions to ask, fixtures to find, planograms to build and set, noise to be made, t-shirts to be stocked... and that was all within the first two hours.
At 3:55, I got to go on a lunch. I ate my yogurt and granola bar, listened to my iPod touch, and read the book that I'm working through.
After lunch, I finished setting a couple of sections for a homecoming (I know, already!? Yes. We have Halloween and Homecoming crap already. Christmas is coming soon, too) grid, then was able to set a power pannel and put stuff on that.
We started recovery around seven, and finished a little bit before closing.
I put the massive amount of beads away, then did my gobacks with the help of Nick.
I helped put away other random crap, and we finally left around 9.
While at work, I encountered two polar opposites. One woman was exceedingly grateful that I dug through a box of reading glasses for her, while the other was very cranky, rude, demanding, and ungrateful that I dug through t-shirt paint for her even though her request was ridiculous. The first kept gushing about how "awesome" and "wonderful" I was because I was willing to find the box, unwrap the glasses, and find ones that she liked. The second woman was thrust upon me because they needed a price check for the t-shirt paint, and she uttered sentences such as "I'm looking at t-shirt paint, I don't know what you're looking at" to my "What are we looking at today?", "There are red tags, so all of these must be clearence" (No, only certain paints are, like, see, this one belongs to this paint), "Find a clearence paint for us. We need a blue and a white" (Uh... I don't think we have any blue or white on clearence), "Well, don't clean that up right now!" (I'm not. I'm trying to find the paint that belongs to this tag), "They shouldn't need to send someone over to me to do a PRICE CHECK" (Uh-huh...), "This is just a mess. It doesn't make any logical sense" (/walk away). I'm not sure which one to think about more; both experiences were equally impactful to my mood. Maybe that's just life balancing things out, as it so often likes to do to me.
Now I'm home. I was fed speghetti, which was STILL WARM!, and now I'm watching Ethan, Ben and Rachel taking turns playing MWII.
I'm about to play Sims 3 some before sleeping.
I should clean a bit since Eric is coming over for awhile tomorrow, but I'm too tired to do so. Maybe tomorrow before he comes over I'll do a quick pick up of all of the junk strewn everywhere.

There were other things I wanted to include, but I've forgotten them.

Okay, I'm done.
I'll write soon!



Slow Blogger is Slow.

So instead of going out of town Sunday and Monday, I sat on my couch playing Sims 3 and watching Youtube videos.
I will say that I enjoyed being lazy for almost four days straight, but that my brain and body cannot handle much more lazy.

In the Sims 3, I furthered my family of 4 (Mother-Stylist, Father-Firefighter, Daughter-high school student, Son-Elementary school student) to a family of six (Mother-still a stylist, Father-Unemployed Adult, Daugher-Same, Son-Same, 2 new twin baby girls).
It actually takes forever to do all of that.

I've basically caught up on all of the stuff that I missed at Vidcon.
Seeing as how I didn't get to go, I really missed all of it, but thanks to Youtube and Vloggers I got to catch up.
I saw a few speeches on the live stream, too, so that helped.
I know what the "Double Rainbow Song" is, and what Dan 3.0 is all about.
I got to whitness the Harry Potter Alliance win 25K thanks to the excellent campaigning of Vloggers, and I got to attend an hour of the Blog TV show that a very exhausted John Green (one of my favorite Youtubers and YA authors) hosted.
And because I announced that the HPA won, I discovered that one of my friends is also a Nerdfighter. Awesome!
I feel good about my time spent on Youtube...
Even though I'm sure I should feel ashamed about it.

I did work out a bit this weekend, and get out and walk, which was good.
I listened to Wrock and did my Yoga routine on the Wii fit.
I'm actually considering joining up at the Rec Center for $40 a year to work out in their weight room and such.
I may even work out with someone that I've known since Elementary school, who also happens to work with me. She brought up the idea, and I may just have to take her up on it.

I finally got the Netflix PS3 disk, so mom and I watched "Penelope" on it last night.
When I woke up today, they were watching a "Star Trek" movie. I'm not sure which one, but it had The Borg in it and they tried to take over the ship. Data got turned into a half human, and they seemed to be in the past because they met Vulcans for the first time. When the Vulcans showed up, my ENTIRE family (Sister, mom, cousin, sister's boyfriend, me) did the "Live Long and Prosper" hand sign. Honest to goodness, that's my favorite moment from the weekend, even though it was today.
We also watched "City of Angels," which I had to miss the end of because I had to go to work. Though I'm sure the main character dies.
When I got home, they started "Free Willy," which is actually a pretty cute movie.
I'm watching "The Ultimate Gift" right now, which will always be one of my favorite movies. I think John and I are watching that Sunday after we do some other things, because there is no way I'm spending daylight hours indoors on my day off. No No No.

I registered for classes, and I'm hoping that it will stay there 'til my grant money takes affect.
I'm taking thirteen hours this semester, which is about the same as last semester. And, like last semester, I'm taking classes from 8 a.m. to 1:40 p.m. Oh, it's going to be fun. I know.
I'm actually excited because I've got this semester, and then nine more hours left until I'm finished. NINE. Holy crap, I could do a happy dance, though I know I won't until all of the t's are crossed and the i's are dotted.

I'm still talking to people, which is amazing. I talked to Rae earlier today for a bit, Kimmi recently, Mason through texts, Chris on Facebook, and even Eric some. It's been a good day : )

"Up until now I've only existed. I've drifted day to day thinking that was enough. And honestly, I don't know if I have my own dream, but I know that I can help others fullfill theirs." - Jason, "The Ultimate Gift"
(If only more people had that lookout on life.)

With that, I shall leave you.



I'm not complaining about Boredom.

Today was a slow day.
I woke up at 1 p.m., wandered around, got food, layed in bed 'til three, came out to the couch around 4, and Rachel and I went to the walking trail.
When we got there, I got distracted by ducks. There were a couple who were, erm, VERY friendly to one another, and I couldn't help but stare to see how it played out. The female ended up getting away, swimming a little, and eventually got back onto the bank to see another male duck. Then they all wiggled their tail feathers and stood in a line. I know, anticlimactic story. Don't blame me; blame the ducks : )
We saw several more ducks, and even a few baby ones. They were so cute, little and fluffy. I wanted to pet the one that we got closest to, but the momma was watching us like a hawk... I had no desire to get pecked to death.
I tried running at one point, and ended up getting hit by a bug. The thing flew SMACK into my right shoulder; it actually hurt a little. I hope the bug is okay : /
We walked most of the way, but I did end up running down a hill and to the nearest bench I saw. I remembered why I actually DON'T like running, despite my previous want to do so.
We walked the rest of the way with poor Rachel complaining because she was hot, seeing more ducks and a really hot shirtless man on our way back to the car.
When we got home, we plopped ourselves in the living rooom, where I am ashamed to say I've been since.
I played a ton of Sims 3, and texted my friend Mason some, and cooked myself some eggs, but that's really about it.
I did, however, look down to find a scratch from Kitty-Kitty around my chest.
My life is SOOOO exciting.
I'm actually watching "Friends" too, so maybe that just amped up my cool levels.
... But that sentence surely didn't. -_-

I'm actually thinking a lot about individuality.
I, personally, have the freedom to be myself.
No one attempts to govern who I am anymore, and that's exciting.
The people in my life accept me for who I am, and not their own personal version of me.
The only exceptions to this rule are my extended family, who don't know me nearly as well as those I directly interract with more than a couple times a month.
I think it's important to be yourself, no matter how well you know a person. Let them see the good, the bad, the eccentricities... If not at the first meeting, on the second or third. It's important to allow others to see YOU, instead of versions of yourself.
For me, life is easier when I know who I'm talking to. I'm hoping that by being so open and honest, people will know who I am and be comfortable around me. I think it helps people know what to expect most of the time.

Okay, well, I hope the above made sense because I really don't have my thinking brain on today.
I have my "let's be lazy and stare at the laptop screen" brain on.
And occasionally the little switch that says "CUTE ANIMAL, MUST ACKNOWLEDGE AND/OR PET" switches on.
Like now, when Fang came into the room. Or every time Kitty-Kitty curls up to me.
... Again, I need a life.

Oh! If you see the "Rawr <3" title at the top of the blog, you will notice pastel colored stars behind it. I made that in Paint this morning at 4 a.m. Not bad for someone who never does that kind of thing, if I do say so myself.

Alright. That's all I'm going to say for now. There aren't any more reasons to hold you here.
I'll write soon!


Another Weird Dream

I had this dream that we (Rachel and I) were living at my Uncle's house, though it was a house that I haven't seen before.
It had multiple living rooms, and multiple bedrooms with random rooms branching off of them.
It was like a hotel almost, except for one story.
For some reason, he had this weird collection of cat memorabelia.
Cat statues, cat litter boxes, cat beds in the shapes of cats, actual real live cats, cat coffee mugs, cat throw pillows...
It was insane; I couldn't tell which cats were real or fake.
The place was a monstrous mess. For some reason, ashes and litter and dirt covered almost every surface. Weird cups lined the counter, a full ash tray sat on a coffee table, pillows were strewn about, a random sleeping bag was in the floor...
All I wanted to do was brush my teeth and go to sleep. I did brush my teeth, but not until after I stepped around the real cats/cat statues. After I did that, I ended up cleaning.
I got one last good view of what I thought was a cat statue before waking up.

Crazy dreams, For the Win!



The Best Day All Week

Today, to me, was perfect.
I woke up, ate, got ready for the day, and John came over around three thirty.
We drove to the movie theater, and even though things felt slightly awkward, we got along just fine.
We purchased our tickets, and I think the guy who I bought the ticket from was confused about why I stepped forward without him. Apparently, guys don't go to the movies with girls who are just their friends? /shrug
We saw "Grown Ups" which, honestly, I really liked.
It was stupid, crude, and funny. It had a deeper story line than appeared, and it had an underlying message about relating to people. It was awesome. I definitely recommend (too lazy to google that word) seeing it.
After the movie, we came back to my house and chatted with mi familia for awhile.
We eventually drove to an all you can eat pizza buffet (Dad, Owen, John and I) and had a great time. We spent most of it joking around with Owen, who is almost ten and is as big of a smartass as John is. I really love this kid. Anyway, while we were there I gave Owen $2.50 to spend in the arcade/gum balls, and he came back with bouncy balls for everyone. He gave me a purple and pink one; so thoughtful. We watched America's Funniest Home Videos, I saw my friend Michael A. from high school band, we chatted, joked, and (as I said earlier) had an amazing time.
On the way home, John was playing with his bouncy ball, and after getting out of the car he lost it in our garage. We'll probably never see that again.
He stayed for another hour after we got home, in which I showed him the high Lizard video and introduced him to Hank and John Green of the Vlogbrothers via Youtube. Then we watched a couple of comedy videos.
It was a lovely visit, and it seemed like it was full of perfect little moments.
I'm extremely happy that our friendship isn't awkward.
After John left, Rachel, Owen and I went to WalMart. I ended up leaving with a pair of PJ pants for Rachel, a $6.76 book (Max: A Maximum Ride Novel), a BATMAN T-SHIRT from the men's department (I should stay out of the men's department, but their shirts are cooler than our shirts. There is no way I'm buying a shirt with "flirt: numerous definitions here" on it), and gum for the kiddos.
Upon arriving home, we all got on our respective computers.
It's like a LAN party, except that Owen's playing a panda game, Rachel's on her role playing website, and I'm on Facebook and blogging. Yay!

I've been thinking heavily about tattoos again. I know I'm getting two, but can't figure out the places.
I'm getting stars either behind my ear or in a massive design along my side.
I'm getting an owl sitting on a stack of books either on my side or on my left shoulder blade, depending on where I get the stars. I'm going to either make the books color coded to the 7 Harry Potter books, or pick three of my absolute favorites and have the books color coded to match those.
I'm getting one or both of them done as soon as I figure this out.
The want for a tattoo is getting, sadly, very strong.

On another note, I had a really weird dream last night.
I had a baby, and I wasn't a very good mother. At all.
I stored my baby in the fridge, and only fed it three times a day.
In the dream, I THOUGHT this was normal.
Even my MOM thought it was normal.
Keep the baby in the fridge.
It wasn't until the very end of the dream that I thought "Holy crap, I have to get that baby out of the refridgerator."
And I think at some point in the dream I slept with someone (not just slept, but slept slept), but that could have been how I got the baby in the first place. Haha.

Okaaaaay. I think that's it.
I'll write soon.



The Most Boring Day, Ever.

I haven't done much today.
Or... anything.

I woke up at noon.
Moved to my couch.
Watched some TV.
Watched more TV.
Tuned in to the Vid Con livestream, which is AWESOME.
< geekfest >
So Vidcon is the largest Youtube gathering EVER. Ever ever. And I so want to be there this weekend, but I'm not there.
I got to see Hank and John Green interview people.
And I got to see Charlie McDonnel (charlieissocoollike) be interviewed.
And I got to see Alex Day sing.
I'm watching Hank sing right now.
And I get to see ALL CAPS (Kristina Horner and Luke Conard) sing here in a minute.
I. am. pumped.
< /geekfest >
(did you catch that html joke? Yeah, I'm a nerd. Whoo!)
I finally played some Sims 3.
Watched more TV.
I spent most of this day on my couch.
I feel like running, but it's raining.
I never, ever feel like running. Running is just... I don't like it. But I want to do it.
But it's RAINING. /curses rain
I talked to Kimmi, Chris, John and Mason today throughout the day.
Hank is singing a song about Quirks, and all of the particles centered around them.
"What would Ron do if Hermione died, or if Voldemort killed Hedwig just for yucks?"
(He totally called the Hedwig thing. He wrote this song about a year before the book was released.)
Okay, moving back into real life...
I didn't eat a whole lot today, which is good because I haven't MOVED a whole lot today.
I needed a lazy day, but the fact that I haven't been productive all day seems to be physically hurting me.
I have a headache, and I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to sleep.

I should get into bed kind of early tonight, because I have a full day planned for tomorrow.
Waking up.
Hanging out with John around 3.
Hanging out with Chris around 7.
Spending time with the cousins and mom and Rachel.
Holy cow. It'll be a long day.

Sunday and Monday will be spent at my grandma's, which I'm sure will be fun.
(Rhett or Link: "Any nerdfighters out there? How about Mythical Beasts?" Hahaha)

Anyway, I'm going to go before I spam you any more with Vidcon stuff.
I'll write soon!



I didn't -plode, okay?

Don't worry!
I didn't anything-plode.
I'm good.
I'm actually more than good.
Well, no I'm not, but I'm in an exceedingly good lately, which could be due to feeling okay.
Like, normal.
Silly normal, but normal.
Ya know?

I was off on Monday.
I already blogged about Monday, actually.
Though I will add that Rachel and I watched an episode of Gargoyles, I was finally able to download "Office Home and Student 2010," and I uploaded The Sims 3 onto my laptop finally. I still need to add the Ambitions expansion pack, though.
I also typed up a rather long account of my feelings, which I debated about sending to John off and on before sending it. I did send it, and the conversation that ensued was clarifying and actually caused me to doubt what I sent in the first place. I'm sure if I read it again it will still hold true, but I want it so badly to not.
"Great, Kimbra, thanks for being vague!"
... Sorry!

Tuesday was a decent day.
I didn't do much of anything before work.
And by that I mean I didn't do anything at all before work.
And by that, I mean that I was on the internet and the most productive thing I did was download Yahoo instant messenger.
I went to work at 5:30, worked through my shift, and we actually got out at a decent time.
It was quite nice.
I arrived home to a turkey burger with cheese on it just for me, and I was back on the internet.
I actually didn't realize how much time I actually DO spend on the internet until I started typing this post.
See what summer does to me?
It's okay. I rather like it.
(This actually reminds me of Rachel telling John on July 4th that I spend all of my time on the internet, to which he replied "I know this... she's been like this for years." Good to know I'm accepted for the internet junkie that I am.)
I ended up talking to Eric2 from Film Class, which was actually really enjoyable. He's a really funny guy and easy to talk to. We ended up exchanging numbers, because it somehow came up that I'm interested in him (I had a brave moment kind of spurred by his advice, so that's cool; I've actually been interested in him since Film but was too shy to say anything), and I hope to see him soon.
I would go into detail about our conversation, but there are some things that I want to keep to myself.
I didn't do anything different after he signed off.
I really need a life.

Today I woke up at noon to Rachel letting Kitty-Kitty into my room.
I'm sure I should have heard one of the three alarms that I set, but I only vaguely remember hearing my rooster one.
I got a Diet Coke and moved to the couch with my laptop and cell phone in hand.
I got onto Facebook, starting checking out my news feed, and stumbled across Adam Brown's blog TV show announcement.
It was already four hours in, but I decided to check and see whether or not he was broadcasting anyway.
For those of you who don't know, Blog TV is one person broadcasting, and several other people chatting using type-written comments.
During the hour that I whitnessed, he used an iPhone App to ask random questions and we answered them.
I got ready for work during the broadcast, and had to leave at 2:45 so I could be at work by 3.
I arrived seven minutes later to a chorus of "Hey Kimbra!" and "Peter!" (a nickname that my manager picked for me right after I started on my second shift).
I didn't realize how much I really missed the truck crew; I hadn't seen them all together in a really long time.
I tried putting merchandise from a repack box away, but ended up on the register for fifteen minutes ringing people up.
When I got off, the repack box was finished.
I asked my manager if I could do beads, he said yes, and I walked to the back to get the cart.
I spent the next almost-two-hours sorting the beads and putting them away.
I felt like I was going slowly crazy in bead land; everything has a place and a ton of that stuff looks the same.
At 5:30 the second person on the floor arrived, and I was able to take a thirty minute lunch break.
I went to a fast food place, got a grilled chicken wrap that I ended up only eating half of then picking the chicken out, and a cherry slush.
I listened to music for the rest of my break, and played a game on my iPod touch.
I found some Crazy Erasers in the shape of Chinese take out (for Rachel) and an Owl for me, and found a tube of Dragons. DRAGONS!
The rest of the shift was consumed with go backs and recovery. We were finished with everything by 9:01, but ended up having to sweep, toss the framing trash, and were stuck there until around 9:30.
I arrived home to some delicious chicken, corn and mashed potatoes (is it potatoes or potatos? I really don't feel like googling it right now. Yes, Google is the secret to my spelling success).
I've been on the internet ever since.
I chatted with Kimmi, and eventually Rae and spoke a sentence or two to Adam.
I'm actually giving up Myspace for awhile, because a few things about it are driving me crazy. Yes, I've logged in once since swearing off of it and may log in again, but for the most part I'm staying away.
I got upset at someone, who shall remain nameless, for questioning my choice of friends. I honestly don't feel it's any of that person's business with whom I'm Facebook friends with.
I watched a couple of difficult to follow episodes of Gargoyles with Rachel. We're on episode 32 of season 2.
Rachel and I ended up having rather fun and weird conversations. It's during those silly times that I absolutely love her. No matter how silly or weird or crazy or childish I feel, I know that I've got her to mirrior that. She gets me, even if she doesn't realize. I'm so very happy that I was blessed with her as my sister.

A little off topic, but... I've definitely stopped to count my blessings more than once during this week. I guess I forget that I have such amazing people in my life, and I'm extremely grateful to have them. Like, despite the fact that John and I have awkward situations, we can talk about them and our friendship remains the same. And when I have emotional or familial or any problems of any kind, I have Kimmi and Rae and my mom and sister and Amanda and Kendra and... All of these people. I love them. I truly do.
Okay, love fest is over... That was almost as painless as the geek fest.

Right now, I'm watching "The Prince and Me" in my bed. My legs are tense, and it's 4 a.m. I can tell that tomorrow is going to be interesting.

I have a Yahoo messenger date with Rae at 4, and work at 5:30.
I have Friday, Saturday, possibly Sunday, and Monday off.
Holy cow. I'm super pumped. I need an extensive-feeling break from work. Even though it's only four days, I'm sure it will be an adequate break.

Okay, now that I'm sure I've put everything in here that needs to be here, I'm going to turn my DVD off and sleep.
Sleep is good sometimes.

I'll write soon : )




I'm freaking out in the inside.
I feel like I'm about to explode.
Or Implode, or something-plode.
I'm fixated on a ton of thoughts that I can't get out into the open using any mediam that I usually use to get thoughts out in the open, so that stinks.
I've taken to screaming while I drive, which has only happened twice but feels very invigorating. Just crank up the volume on the stereo, inhale deeply, and scream. It helps a little, and gets rid of some of the pent up anxiety and weirdness that is trying to consume me.
I may very well be FINALLY going crazy.
It has to happen sometime, right?

Now where do I begin with catching you up?

Thursday I worked, and honestly I was very happy to know that I had the next day off.
I don't remember what all went on, so there really isn't any point to talking about Thursday, is there?

Friday I woke up and enjoyed a rather lazy day.
I think I did something in the afternoon, though again, I have no idea what I did.
See, this is why I blog... to remember.
Oh! I ran errands with my mom.
We went to the post office, Petsmart, got drenched by the rain that haunted our city, and went to Best Buy for my laptop, which I am using now to type this up.
That and download Microsoft Office Home and Student, which is taking forever.
I went out to John's around nine, got a tour of his new dwelling, and we ended up driving out to a Fuzzy's to meet his guy friends.
I spent the next couple of hours drinking margaritas (I only had two, but they were fairly strong and I was definitely drunk by the end of the night), joking around with his friends, and people watching. It was actually nice.
I like his friends, and don't know why I hadn't met them sooner. They may not feel the same about me, but I would like to think that I made a good impression.
We headed home around two, and ended up pulling into the zoo parking lot to see the huge Iguana sitting on top of it wearing a patriotic hat. I was very excited because I saw that guy being airlifted to the zoo on the news.
Once we got to his house, I dropped my stuff in his room, used the restroom, changed, and crawled into bed.
He joined me a little later, and we ended up getting into a karate chop/tickle fight, among other things.
In the end, we had settled on dating.
I was fine with it, he was fine with it.
We fell asleep.
Or, rather, he fell asleep. I tossed, turned, listened to him snore, got up and down, got a huge headache, felt sick to my stomach, was very, very hot, and ended up waking him up to walk me out to my car at 7:30 a.m.
Before I took off, he told me that dating doesn't feel right.
I was too tired to care. I was mad once I did. And frustrated. And embarrassed.
But that's fine. I'm over two of those emotions.
I came home, took some tylenol, hung out in the bathroom, layed in the floor to cool off, thought I was going to throw up, ended up finally moving to my bed with my bucket, and finally fell asleep.
I slept until a few hours before work, then busted out my laptop and finally started getting it ready and such.
I worked Saturday night, and I was grateful that I felt a ton better by that time.
Work is good, but there were these kids running around and tearing stuff up and they had the nerve to talk to me and act like what they were doing wasn't a bad thing.
I felt like yelling at and/or beating those children, but instead called my manager over to do something about it. I know, good plan.
Ben was here when I got home, so I hung out with he and Rachel and threw a fit because that's what I do when I'm not emotionally stable, apparently. Who knew? I certainly didn't catch on until recently.
I did apologize, as always, and we ended up watching a couple episodes of Gargoyles.
I showered and didn't get to bed until rather late, as per usual.
Mom came into my room, listened to me whine, and we watched "Dan in Real Life" together.
I kicked her out around 3 or 4, and went to bed shortly after.

I woke up feeling sick again on Sunday, and ended up texting John and Kimmi for a bit.
John swung by to drop off the jacket that I left in his car, we watched America's national Anthem on Youtube, then watched Canada's, and he left shortly after that since he had other plans for the day.
I watched some of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix with Rachel and Ben, then went back to sleep for a couple of hours.
When I woke up, Ben was gone, and Owen got here shortly after I settled into the couch.
I eventually got up, got ready, and loaded my family into the car.
We drove 45 minutes to see fireworks, saw 30 minutes worth of magnificently beautiful fireworks, then got stuck in an hour's worth of traffic. Thirty minutes later, we were finally home.
We dropped Owen off, came home, and settled in for the night.
We didn't do much else, really. It was a decent fourth of July.
I ended up filming two videos and posting them on my channel, and kind of have third planned.
I went to bed late, as usual.

Today I woke up around noon, sat around for an hour or so, went up to campus, and took my accuplacer.
I have to take one remedial math course before I can take college math, which puts me at a semester and a half left of classes. Awesome...
Blah. I just want to get the Hell out of there.
I tried taking another test to cut the time of my remedial class in half, but that didn't work out in my favor.
I came home for a couple of hours in which I watched "Clue" with my family, which was a long yet good movie.
I ended up going to the mall to pick Kimmi up and take her home.
Then I came back home for another thirty minutes only to leave and go to laundry with my parents.
Now I'm here, finishing this blog that it's taken me two hours to type.

I'll write soon; it's really hard to function with so much stuff floating around in my head.



How I feel.

I feel miserable.
Like my heart is being stretched and pushed down upon, almost like it's weighed down.
I feel like screaming and shaking someone.
I feel... Well, a little like this...

What don't I understand? Please, help me out. What is it? Is it frustrating that you can't be with this person? That there's something keeping you apart? That there's something about this person that you can connect with? And whenever you're near this person, you don't know what to say, and you say everything that's in your mind and in your heart, and you know that if you could just be together, that this person would help you become the best possible version of yourself? - Dan Burns, "Dan in Real Life"

I don't expect him to stay with me for a million years, or to propose, or to marry me.
I just want him to try.

Sorry for the dramatic post...
It happens to the best of us.


Cat Videos

I think I left off with my grandma's?
Yeah, that sounds right.
Here we go.

Sunday I was off work again.
I woke Rachel up whenever I got up, and we played video games for a bit.
I ended up going shopping with my mom for a bit in search of work pants.
Though I didn't find work pants, I found a pair of shorts that I think I will wear quite often.
We went to two WalMarts, got gas, and came home so that I could be here for ten minutes and leave to meet the girls.
I met Kendra, Kimmi and Amanda at a restauraunt, and we enjoyed having a lovely dinner together and catching up.
I really do miss those girls all of the time, so it was nice seeing them.
We went to Kendra's after that, and headed home about an hour later.
I ended up going with my family to the laundromat after that, and finished my laundry later that night.
My clean clothes are still in various piles at the end of my bed, because I haven't made the time to put them away.
Yes. I'm lazy. If you didn't know this, now you do : )

Monday I managed to pull myself out of a gory dream that consisted of this guy and a bunch of kids clawing into someone, and ripping out their intestines in hand fulls. On a farm. And for some reason I was there and couldn't leave. I think I was supposed to train with this evil guy (who, coincidentally, resembled a clown) to become like him, but didn't want to.
Anyway. I walked out to find Owen, Ethan and Rachel playing video games.
I played video games.
We spent the day around the house, and I stayed in my pajamas until I decided to go up to the Library for the Accuplacer book, which I need by tomorrow and can't get.
Anyway. We spent the rest of the night entertaining.
We ate pizza, played Disney Scene It and Apples to Apples, played video games, and eventually watched "Avatar."
I went to bed extremely late that night.

Tuesday I woke up and lounged around before work.
I didn't lounge for long because I slept until 2:30 p.m.
I went to work at 5:30, had a decent shift, and headed home after we were released.
Yeah, nothing stands out about that night's shift.
I think we got out early, though.
I went grocery shopping afterward (mom was nice enough to meet me there) and got a few healthy foods.
When I got home, I ate dinner and watched TV with my momma.
I ended up going onto my bank account and trying to figure out what all money I Mom spent, and factored in what I spent, and kept coming up over one hundred dollars short. After spending 20 minutes trying to figure this out, I realized that was my available balance. Yes, I'm a natural born brunette, I swear.

Today I woke up around noon to Rachel saying "Kimbra it's time to wake up. By the way the water is turned off what should we do?"
Needless to say, I hated this afternoon.
I hate discussing money, and situations involving money, with my family.
My mom borrows money from me over the course of the two weeks in between my checks, and I end up with nothing left by the time hers comes. I hate it.
I hate feeling obligated to give them whatever money they need, or buy groceries, or anything.
I know that's why I moved home in the first place, but working for nothing just isn't fun anymore.
I went to the bank at one, came home and played "Animal Crossing," then got ready and left for work.
I worked 3 to 9:30 tonight, and ended up doing a ton of stuff.
I basically set two framing planograms and stocked the murchandise.
I did go backs.
I recovered floral, arts and crafts (just a walk through really, though I did find a lot of stuff), and the back half of scrap booking.
Then I did more go backs.
Recovered more.
Go backs.
You get the idea.
I did get to enjoy a thirty minute lunch in our brand new break room, and got to watch the men who are working on our break room work.
And I saw the guy I'm interested in trip over something, and had to try really hard not to laugh or make fun of him.
I got home around 9:30 and tried eating some burrito thing with random meat in it, but I couldn't do it. It was good, but I had no idea what the stuffing in that burrito was.
I settled on some yogurt and fourth of july cookies. I'm sure I ate something else but I don't remember.
I'm not doing weight watchers points anymore... I hated it.
I am, however, trying to count calories.
We'll see how this goes.
After awhile, Rachel and I watched two episodes of Gargoyles (Pretty sure we're on episode 27 of Season Two), and ended up watching Cat Videos on Youtube.
I know what you're thinking.
Cat videos? You actually support that crap? Those cute, furry cats are nothing but a waste of space on that website.
Really? You're not?
Well I did until I watched some cat videos.
There are some really cute ones.
Dad's brain couldn't contain all of the cute, though, so he left about an hour after the cat videos started. I give him mad props for lasting that long.
Then we watched a high lizard, and a duck do it's happy dance.
Yeeahhh... great night.

Okie dokie. I'm done.
I want to go work on my novel-in-progress. My brain keeps editing the time line by itself and I can't write it down fast enough.

Talk to you soon!