I'm freaking out in the inside.
I feel like I'm about to explode.
Or Implode, or something-plode.
I'm fixated on a ton of thoughts that I can't get out into the open using any mediam that I usually use to get thoughts out in the open, so that stinks.
I've taken to screaming while I drive, which has only happened twice but feels very invigorating. Just crank up the volume on the stereo, inhale deeply, and scream. It helps a little, and gets rid of some of the pent up anxiety and weirdness that is trying to consume me.
I may very well be FINALLY going crazy.
It has to happen sometime, right?
Now where do I begin with catching you up?
Thursday I worked, and honestly I was very happy to know that I had the next day off.
I don't remember what all went on, so there really isn't any point to talking about Thursday, is there?
Friday I woke up and enjoyed a rather lazy day.
I think I did something in the afternoon, though again, I have no idea what I did.
See, this is why I blog... to remember.
Oh! I ran errands with my mom.
We went to the post office, Petsmart, got drenched by the rain that haunted our city, and went to Best Buy for my laptop, which I am using now to type this up.
That and download Microsoft Office Home and Student, which is taking forever.
I went out to John's around nine, got a tour of his new dwelling, and we ended up driving out to a Fuzzy's to meet his guy friends.
I spent the next couple of hours drinking margaritas (I only had two, but they were fairly strong and I was definitely drunk by the end of the night), joking around with his friends, and people watching. It was actually nice.
I like his friends, and don't know why I hadn't met them sooner. They may not feel the same about me, but I would like to think that I made a good impression.
We headed home around two, and ended up pulling into the zoo parking lot to see the huge Iguana sitting on top of it wearing a patriotic hat. I was very excited because I saw that guy being airlifted to the zoo on the news.
Once we got to his house, I dropped my stuff in his room, used the restroom, changed, and crawled into bed.
He joined me a little later, and we ended up getting into a karate chop/tickle fight, among other things.
In the end, we had settled on dating.
I was fine with it, he was fine with it.
We fell asleep.
Or, rather, he fell asleep. I tossed, turned, listened to him snore, got up and down, got a huge headache, felt sick to my stomach, was very, very hot, and ended up waking him up to walk me out to my car at 7:30 a.m.
Before I took off, he told me that dating doesn't feel right.
I was too tired to care. I was mad once I did. And frustrated. And embarrassed.
But that's fine. I'm over two of those emotions.
I came home, took some tylenol, hung out in the bathroom, layed in the floor to cool off, thought I was going to throw up, ended up finally moving to my bed with my bucket, and finally fell asleep.
I slept until a few hours before work, then busted out my laptop and finally started getting it ready and such.
I worked Saturday night, and I was grateful that I felt a ton better by that time.
Work is good, but there were these kids running around and tearing stuff up and they had the nerve to talk to me and act like what they were doing wasn't a bad thing.
I felt like yelling at and/or beating those children, but instead called my manager over to do something about it. I know, good plan.
Ben was here when I got home, so I hung out with he and Rachel and threw a fit because that's what I do when I'm not emotionally stable, apparently. Who knew? I certainly didn't catch on until recently.
I did apologize, as always, and we ended up watching a couple episodes of Gargoyles.
I showered and didn't get to bed until rather late, as per usual.
Mom came into my room, listened to me whine, and we watched "Dan in Real Life" together.
I kicked her out around 3 or 4, and went to bed shortly after.
I woke up feeling sick again on Sunday, and ended up texting John and Kimmi for a bit.
John swung by to drop off the jacket that I left in his car, we watched America's national Anthem on Youtube, then watched Canada's, and he left shortly after that since he had other plans for the day.
I watched some of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix with Rachel and Ben, then went back to sleep for a couple of hours.
When I woke up, Ben was gone, and Owen got here shortly after I settled into the couch.
I eventually got up, got ready, and loaded my family into the car.
We drove 45 minutes to see fireworks, saw 30 minutes worth of magnificently beautiful fireworks, then got stuck in an hour's worth of traffic. Thirty minutes later, we were finally home.
We dropped Owen off, came home, and settled in for the night.
We didn't do much else, really. It was a decent fourth of July.
I ended up filming two videos and posting them on my channel, and kind of have third planned.
I went to bed late, as usual.
Today I woke up around noon, sat around for an hour or so, went up to campus, and took my accuplacer.
I have to take one remedial math course before I can take college math, which puts me at a semester and a half left of classes. Awesome...
Blah. I just want to get the Hell out of there.
I tried taking another test to cut the time of my remedial class in half, but that didn't work out in my favor.
I came home for a couple of hours in which I watched "Clue" with my family, which was a long yet good movie.
I ended up going to the mall to pick Kimmi up and take her home.
Then I came back home for another thirty minutes only to leave and go to laundry with my parents.
Now I'm here, finishing this blog that it's taken me two hours to type.
I'll write soon; it's really hard to function with so much stuff floating around in my head.