9/19/2010

Up and Down

The past few days have gone well, yet there have been times when I was overly emotional.

Thursday I did end up studying with Eric, and that was fun. My sister sat out in the living room with us while we talked about the Philosophy behind government and swapped notes. We eventually got tired of doing that, so we put in Street Fighter 4 for the PS3 and played a few rounds (six, to be exact) and he won every single one but one. And he let me have the one round I won. Haha. I returned his game to his possession afterward and hugged him goodbye before coming inside and heading to bed.

Friday morning I woke up bright-and-stinking early for classes. I was surprised that I woke up on my own, because lately I haven't been good at getting out of bed early. Of course, on test days, things rarely go as planned, so I made it to class five minutes early, took out my notes, read them for two minutes, and was told to put my things away since we were starting early. After setting suckers on our desks as she said "Here, sugar makes you smarter!," she handed out our tests and we were ready to begin. I'm sure I did alright on the multiple choice portion; a lot of it was common sense. I killed the "define these terms" portion, did decently on fill in the blank, probably wrote terrible essays, and understood 4/5 of the bonus questions. After taking the test, I texted Eric a quick good luck, talked to him for a minute, then went to the writing lab to do math homework. I got most of the way through one assignment (I have two problems to work through). I went to math afterward, went to PE like a good little girl, and was able to come home after that.

I had the night off, so I did the most amazing thing ever: I slept for two hours on the couch. Despite the fact that my sister was trying to wake me up so that we could catch our movie. Whoops : )
As we were about to leave (after I FINALLY got ready and was happy about the prospect of seeing this movie), my mom got upset. This usually sends little anxious signals throughout my brain, and I tried to talk to her about it, but she didn't want to; she wanted to be upset and distant. So we got into a fight that ended in me sitting on the couch crying, resigned to not going to the movies, and she walking out the door. Five minutes later, I was crying again as she was apologizing. We made up, and we all three left the house at the same time to go our separate directions. Not even a minute after pulling out of the driveway, I was sobbing. Literally sobbing. I could barely drive, and sobbed "nooooo" when Rachel said "Don't you think we should pull over or something? I mean, driving and crying can't be safe. Maybe you should pull over?"
I didn't want to see the movie anymore. I didn't want to do anything. At that moment, I wanted to be in my bed, under the covers, crying my eyes out. I wanted to be alone. But I was driving a car to the movies with my amazing younger sister (who tried her absolute hardest to make me feel better)(and succeeded), so I tried to be more upbeat (for her, mainly). We saw "Easy A" in the theaters, and that was awesome. That movie is cute and funny and it's just... Ugh! So good! I would recommend seeing it.
I danced a little to the music at the end of the movie as we walked out of the theater, we came home for about an hour (during which I got bombarded with bad news... both of my managers lost their jobs), and I left again to get dinner with the girls at Chilli's. Kimmi was nice enough to come and get me, and on the way there I filled her in on everything that happened ever. Well, not ever, but ya know.
We got to Chilli's, found Kendra, and sat, talked, ordered drinks, and waited for Amanda. Kendra got a Maragarita, and Kimmi and I got Cosmopolitans, which were freakin' STRONG. I got through half of mine, was tipsy, and in the process of moving my diet coke closer to me I knocked it over. Literally knocked it over. The cup hit the table, and half of my drink went from the table to the chair to the floor. I was sad, but figured it was a sign to not drink. We ate dinner, Kimmi brought me home, and Mason came over a little bit after that.
We didn't do a whole lot; we talked with mom and Rachel and he dug around inside her head. When she left, he dug around in mine. We sat on the couch until we were both falling asleep, then we went to bed and fell asleep around 2 or 3.

This morning around 11:30 alarm number 1 went off, I cursed it, and snuggled back into bed. I found the sucker after the second time it went off, turned all three alarms off, and made myself wake up. Eventually Mason and I went out to get food (after saying hello and goodbye to Rachel). We got Wendy's and ate it at the walking trail near my house, which was very peaceful and calming. It was his idea to go, and honestly that was one of the best ideas; the tranquility was tangible. We talked about a few things while eating, and listened to music, and watched ducks swim and the water ripple and the fountain do it's thing. I love fountains... I love how peaceful fountains can make an environment seem. If I could, I would have one in my back yard. And stare at it every day. I'm sorry to be rambling about fountains to you when I could tell you what Mason and I talked about, but again, there are some things that I will not touch on in here. We had to the leave the park around 2:15 so I could get ready for work. After I got ready, we sat and talked, and at 2:45 we said goodbye and I went to work.
Work was challenging. I was an emotional wreck. I'm going to go ahead and say, one time and one time only, that I must be PMSing, because I haven't done this much crying in a really long time. Also, I believe that I'm being tested in some form or another, so that wasn't the most fun time, either. At one point, I walked into the back in search of some highly-priced product and had the Shit Scared Out of Me by my friend Brandi. Brandi didn't know I was emotional. Brandi was laughing, and I laughed after I got over being scared. Then I paused, got teary eyed, quivery voiced, and cried. I didn't sob this time, but I DID cry, and unintionally made her feel bad. I explained to her what my deal was, but I don't think that made her feel any better. Sad day.
We didn't even get close to getting out of there tonight at a reasonable time. We left at 11:25, two hours and fifteen minutes after we closed.
I got home, talked with my family and Ben (who is staying with us for a little while due to circumstances beyond his control), and ended up crying during that time. I would be talking, having a serious conversation, get teary, and start sobbing. I hope this stops soon -_-
Eventually I showered, ate a snack, and here I am (after about two hours of looking through things on facebook, various blogs, youtube, and dailybooth).

I'm going to go do my hair, and sleep.
I work at 10 a.m. But I get off at 2 p.m., get to do homework, and see Mason, so my day isn't really going to be that bad : )

I'll write soon!

<3

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