11/30/2010

Letter 3, Parents

Dear mom and dad,

You did your best to raise me. Despite the sicknesses that both of you had while I grew up, you actually did a decent job. From the time I could crawl to ten-years-old, you both put on a united front and raised a cautious individual. Mom took over as both parents eventually, molding me into a responsible, sheltered, kind, and honest human being. Dad, you came back on the tale end of that and only got to observe the work that she did in those crutial seven years; I'm sorry for that, but the fault is yours.

Mom... I could not have made it without you. I know this for a fact; I would be a far worse person if I didn't have you. Or your entire side of the family, really. You all came together to raise two exceptional (though challenged in a few areas) young women, and I think you should all be very proud. Anyway, thank you for everything you've done. I do appreciate it, even though I'm at a point in my life that I have to start changing and molding to become my own human being. I may let you down, but in all honesty I feel that it's about time - I can't always please you, or stay the same.

Dad... I wish I had you. I wish that you could have been the typical dad who threated boyfriends with a baseball bat and shotgun if they even thought about bringing me home past curfew. I wish that our relationship wasn't so shattered that we're awkward around each other. I wish I didn't fear you for so long, and I wish that the bits and pieces of that fear that remain would go away. When it comes to you I wish for a lot of things that I can't change. I've come to terms with it now (for the most part), and am just grateful that you entered my life when you did. I'm glad you got to see me march in high school, which was my passion for all four years that I was there. I'm happy that you got to see me graduate and be the proud father that you wish you could have been all those years. I hope we continue to be in each other's lives as time goes on, and I hope that eventually we're close enough not to have to walk on eggshells around each other.

Both of you... I love you. So much. I may not like you one hundred percent of the time, or agree with you, or even find you good company (on rare occasions), but I do love you both. I do enjoy having you both in my life, and I do enjoy the times we share. I hope that times get better for the both of you, and that I'm able to help you both cope with what's to come as best as I can.

I love you.
Both.
- Kimbra

11/25/2010

Thanksgiving

Life is good.

It is currently Thanksgiving (as I’m typing this… maybe not so much when I’m able to post it), and I’ve realized (yet again) that I am very blessed.
I had the pleasure of talking to Mason until the early hours of the morning and sleeping in until noon.
I woke up and stumbled out to the living room in my pajamas, saying hello to the other members of my family (who, as usual, woke up before me).
I sat out on the couch, eating mini muffins and waking up, and got dressed once the rest of the family arrived.
I heard Owen say “Where’s Kimbra?” before heading back to the living room and giving him a big hug. I visited with my family quite a bit, as is customary on Thanksgiving, and actually enjoyed it immensely. I can’t tell you every moment, but I can tell you a few that made me realize how much I truly do love my family.
While Ethan was watching a movie, Uncle Eldon changed the channel to a football game. Detroit and New England were playing, and Ethan exclaims “But I don’t like either of these!”
My grandma amused Lotus with her voice microphone, and she smiled and laughed to the noise it made when Mamaw pressed the button.
Rachel was holding Lotus and making her dance by moving her arms, and mom was waiting to be passed the baby. She fell asleep while waiting, her arm still extended expectantly.
I pretended to kick Owen in the head and then karate chop him (while he was sitting in the floor), and he fell back pretending to writhe in pain.
The prayer. My family says a blessing every year before we ate, Thanking God (G-d to me) for the food He provided and for bringing us together. My Uncle Byron said it today, and it was quite honest and heartfelt.
Eating the food. The turkey was the best I’ve ever had, and the dessert table called my name so loudly that I had to come back for a second plate just for dessert. I couldn’t eat it all, mind you, but I liked it.
I took an hour long nap after eating while Rachel and Owen watched “The Wizard of Oz,” but they didn’t get very far. They left and let me sleep.
After I woke up from my nap my uncle started talking to me about calendars and was extremely excited that I bought so many. He needed them for his house and was giddy that there was a stack sitting there. I let him keep most of them, and plan on purchasing a pocket one for him and a few more for my household.
I joined the kids and my aunt at the river and popped in on the relatives down there, and we got to see the animals again. I got pictures of most of them which will be up on Facebook soon.
Uncle Byron pretending my grandma’s microphone was a “Mr. Microphone” and talking into it.
The Cowboys game, which is ever present in EVERY house down here. No matter who we go see, they have the game playing in their living room, taking breaks from the conversation to comment on a play that was just made.
Wrestling with Ethan.
Mamaw, Byron, Ethan and I playing Dominoes and, sadly, losing against the guys.
My family picking on each other.
We only have a few hours left to be together, which is almost saddening. I wish I could stay longer, but can’t because I have work at 5:30 in the morning.
I’m thankful for a lot of things this year - my family, my closer friends, Mason, waking up to live each day, safe travel, a break from work and school, and time to experience everything. There is more, but if I sit here for much longer I may miss time with my family.

As for a quick update:
I’m going to San Antonio this weekend with Kimmi, and we’re going to have a blast.
I got to see Rae and her husband and kids, and I met her son for the very first time. He’s precious, and her daughter is adorable. We didn’t do a lot, but I’m grateful that I got some time to spend with her; I really missed her. I’m hoping to see her Sunday for her daughter’s birthday party, which is from one to four in the afternoon. Hopefully Kimmi and I are able to make it.
I told Rae about my conversion, and she didn’t know what to think, but said that as long as I’m happy she’s happy for me. And she could tell by looking at me that I am happy. “You look happier than I have seen you in a very long time,” she said. “I like it.”
Mason has been gone all week but will be back on Sunday. I had a hard time with the separation at first and didn’t think I could make it to Sunday, but now that it’s Thursday I’ve come to terms with it and am just counting down the days until I get to be in his arms again. I really miss him, and honestly can’t wait to see him.

Okay, I’m going to go. I don’t want to miss the ending of the game, even though we’re losing.
I’ll write soon!
Happy Thanksgiving! And I hope you’re life is going well!

<3

11/22/2010

Letter 2, Crush (Or Boyfriend, in my case)

Dear Mason,

Where to begin?

We've known each other for almost a year, and have been dating since August. I consider every day with you an adventure, and I've enjoyed every moment that we've spent together. I look forward to more time together to create more memories and go on many more adventures (Like, dragon slaying. Or. To Six Flags. Or. Food places. Or. Something).

Through our time together I've come to value you more than you could possibly fathom (or you might "fathom," since I tell you almost every day). Every day I think of something about you that I love - your eyes, your smile, your sense of humor, your arms and hands, your passion for scripture, your voice, and how patient, kind and understanding you are when it comes to me (to name a few things). Every day I realize just how much I truly do care for you, and thank Him for sending you to me. As of late I'm praying that you have a good time on your trip and are able to make it home safely; I can't wait to have your arms around me again, to hold your hand, or to kiss you.

You truly are an amazing human being, and I am truly blessed to have you in my life.
I love you.

- Kimbra

11/21/2010

Letter 1, Best Friend

Dear Best Friend(s),

As you know, I don't have just one of you. I have a few of you, and for that I consider myself extremely blessed. I hold all of you in my heart equally close, and couldn't imagine my life without a single one of you.

We've most likely been friends for awhile, ranging from one year to twelve, and have many memories together. Remember when we met? I can remember the time I met each one of you. Of all of the times we've gotten together and of all of the memories we've shared, I hold this one closest to my heart. It's the beginning of everything - the beginning of the sleepovers, movie nights, few petty fights, tearful nights, many moments of driving, gaming nights, six flags trips, band trips, concerts, chior tours, botanic garden adventure, creek walking, and anything else you could possibly consider an adventure. Without that one moment in time, we wouldn't know each other. And for that moment in time, I am greatful.

I honestly can't wait to create more memories with y'all. I can't wait to see you, to laugh with you, to cry with you, to (God forbid) fight with you, high five you, dance with you... whatever the case may be. And honestly... I hope it's soon.

Much Love,
Kimbra, Kimmie, Kim

11/12/2010

Holy Crap, Where Did the Time Go?

I'm not sure what I left you with.
I think I tried to be my usual bubbly self and leave you with a detailed account of my life.
And then I left.

I've been super busy with work, school, homework, Mason and what friends I manage to see.
I still manage to have a ton of fun despite being super busy.
My family misses me, and I feel bad about it a lot of the time. Most of the time I can't help it.
I tried doing NaNoWriMo, and may quit. I can't find time to write at all.
We're watching Whale Wars, and Mason and Rachel are debating about it. It's nice, actually; they get along enough to debate and still be friends. Awesome.
I met Mason's family, the vast majority of them, and I really like them.
We're in an actual real-life relationship, which is awesome.
Uh.
My laptop crashed and I didn't have it for two weeks, so it's been rough trying to do the ton of homework I need to do and keep up with social networking stuff.
I attended Synagogue last Saturday on Shabbat and liked it; Mason and I are going back tomorrow. I may or may not go the next Saturday - I don't want to go alone. Though I probably should since I won't be there the Saturday after that.
I have been extremely tired these past couple of weeks, and don't know why. I eat normally, I sleep normally, and I'm not super active. I went to the doctor last Thursday, and got my blood taken on Tuesday, so maybe we'll find something out soon. I haven't been attending classes because of this (and other reasons, but a lot of this) and had to have a conversation with my PE professor about my absences.

My life is anything but boring lately, which I don't mind one bit. I take each day as it comes and enjoy the day as it happens. I love this method of living. : )

<3