11/30/2010

Letter 3, Parents

Dear mom and dad,

You did your best to raise me. Despite the sicknesses that both of you had while I grew up, you actually did a decent job. From the time I could crawl to ten-years-old, you both put on a united front and raised a cautious individual. Mom took over as both parents eventually, molding me into a responsible, sheltered, kind, and honest human being. Dad, you came back on the tale end of that and only got to observe the work that she did in those crutial seven years; I'm sorry for that, but the fault is yours.

Mom... I could not have made it without you. I know this for a fact; I would be a far worse person if I didn't have you. Or your entire side of the family, really. You all came together to raise two exceptional (though challenged in a few areas) young women, and I think you should all be very proud. Anyway, thank you for everything you've done. I do appreciate it, even though I'm at a point in my life that I have to start changing and molding to become my own human being. I may let you down, but in all honesty I feel that it's about time - I can't always please you, or stay the same.

Dad... I wish I had you. I wish that you could have been the typical dad who threated boyfriends with a baseball bat and shotgun if they even thought about bringing me home past curfew. I wish that our relationship wasn't so shattered that we're awkward around each other. I wish I didn't fear you for so long, and I wish that the bits and pieces of that fear that remain would go away. When it comes to you I wish for a lot of things that I can't change. I've come to terms with it now (for the most part), and am just grateful that you entered my life when you did. I'm glad you got to see me march in high school, which was my passion for all four years that I was there. I'm happy that you got to see me graduate and be the proud father that you wish you could have been all those years. I hope we continue to be in each other's lives as time goes on, and I hope that eventually we're close enough not to have to walk on eggshells around each other.

Both of you... I love you. So much. I may not like you one hundred percent of the time, or agree with you, or even find you good company (on rare occasions), but I do love you both. I do enjoy having you both in my life, and I do enjoy the times we share. I hope that times get better for the both of you, and that I'm able to help you both cope with what's to come as best as I can.

I love you.
Both.
- Kimbra

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