1/08/2012

So It's Been Almost A Year...

I can't believe I just left this blog sitting here for a year. I didn't even mean to be snarky when I said I /might/ write; I knew I would, even if it was a few weeks or months down the line. But almost an entire year? What the crap?

There is no way to fill you in on everything, so here are random events...
Scarborough Fair was awesome.
I got to go to the zoo and see an exhibit type thing called Dinosaurs Unleashed, and it was awesome; I got to see a T-Rex and its baby, even.
Mason and I have had several ups and downs in the last few months, but we somehow manage to work it out and stay together, which I am extremely blessed and thankful for. We celebrated our one year anniversary by going to the Dallas World Aquarium, which was spectacular. Who knew that an entire day looking at fish and monkeys would be fun?? We did : ) We also went out to dinner on the actual day, August 30th, to feel more date-like. I love going on dates with him... I think we need more of those.
I turned 23.
I celebrated every single holy day in 2011. All of them. And got to celebrate my second Hanukkah.
I've celebrated many a birthday with many people.
I went to the Texas State Fair with Mason's family.
I spoiled my sister on her birthday.
I've visited my grandma and uncle, who is going to prison soon unfortunately.
I've been frustrated with family drama that's occurred, and mad that I have to be a second parent to my sister, and a surrogate parent to my mother when times call for them. I have felt misplaced in my life, and like my own family isn't technically mine anymore, maybe. I have felt cheated because I do so much for others when I can, and rarely receive things in return. I have felt like there's a huge hole inside of me that isn't filled all of the time. I have felt abandoned by my friends, and like I've abandoned them; I haven't seen /any/ of the ones I had before Mason in at least two months, and know that it's entirely my fault.
I have felt extremely loved by both mine and Mason's families. I have felt extremely taken care of by my man. I have loved my man with all of my heart, and tried to do anything that I possibly can for him. I have been to many fun and exciting events with both families and a ton of friends this past year. I had a ton of fun in 2011, and am having a relaxing 2012 so far (might as well while I can, yes?).
In short, the negatives and positives of the events and how I felt last year have balanced themselves out.
I survived my last semester of school at the "two year college" and can now graduate and move on with my life starting in the Spring.
I need a job, and applied somewhere, but should apply to other places.
I took a Hebrew class and skipped three weeks because Mason and I just can't pay her what we owe; neither of our families are too well off, and my mother can't afford to help me pay for my portion anymore. I need a job in order to continue, and if neither of us get one, we can't. I feel very terrible because our Hebrew teacher's husband, a loving Jewish man to his wife and family, has cancer - they have literally no income right now, and we can't help the situation until we get things going in our own lives.
I was at my family's Christmas celebration, and that was lovely. I missed having us all there and happy.
I made my aunt cry on Thanksgiving because I was being a hellion the day before and made a turkey despite the fact that everyone agreed to keep it simple. No, not one of my proudest moments; she and my uncle were only there for about an hour, and she avoided me the entire time until I tried to speak to her.
I'm actually not proud of how I've acted on several occasions. I don't know what it is that causes me to behave the way I do... I get so anxious and I feel stretched too thin and I just... explode, and usually at people who don't deserve it. I don't want to be that way, so I'm focusing on changing things a little bit at a time.
I'm going to try to start writing again, though I have no idea if I'll blog again. If I think about it again I may.
I celebrated New Year's Eve at home with Mason, our friend Libby and her boyfriend. We went up to the pool hall eventually and rang in the new year playing pool with another of Mason's friends, and his girlfriend (who we double dated with to see Sherlock Holmes the other day). Then we all went to IHOP, then back to Libby's for her Hookah, then came home to watch "Super 8" and smoke the hookah. We took them home around five in the morning, and passed out ourselves.

Again, I'm not doing 2011 or the beginning of 2012 justice at all. I just thought I would pop in and say I'm alive. I hope to continue my blogging adventure, because honestly blogging helps me keep everything in line, and preserves the memories that I've had over the past year or so.

<3