8/21/2012

What It Feels Like To Be My Own Person

My friend Josh decided that we could no longer interact, so I've blocked him from Facebook. Mason doesn't want me in his life, so I blocked and deleted him from everything that I could possibly think of, including this site if he's signed into his ID, which I'm sure he never will again. I'm learning that if people don't want me in their lives, or can't let me live my own without constantly expecting me to follow a different idea of life, I don't need them. If you can't love and support me, I don't need you. I have lost so many people through the break up process, and even a few that have just decided to walk on out of my life. Life is no different without them, with the exception of Mason, and that's to be expected. Though I've come to the conclusion that I don't need Mason. I may have wanted him in my life, but I do not need him. I'm living a well enough life without having to cater to whatever whim he decides he wants to pursue.

I had my first meet the teacher night last week, and my first teacher in-service day last week on Friday. Both were really fun; I love the parents of the kids that I get to teach, and the kids that I met are super cute and sweet and I can't wait to teach them, and the in-service day was nice since I was able to finally bond with people without kiddos around, and I learned /a lot/.

Single life isn't so bad. I can do whatever I want. I have my own waking and sleeping hours. I don't feel bad for wanting to see my family. I don't feel bad for having guy friends. I don't feel bad for working extra hours. Though I do miss having a constant companion sometimes, mainly having Mason around, I'm learning to live as a single woman again, which, though challenging, is proving to be rewarding.

I made a plenty of fish account, and have met a few really nice guys through that. Mostly it's just talking and figuring out how to be their friend, but there's one in particular that I've met already who I find very attractive and funny and nice. I hung out with him on Saturday (I took Rachel with me as my muscle), and we had a great time just hanging around his house and watching movies, getting free presents for cleaning his room, and he downloaded some games for me to put on my laptop when I get it back from the shop. I've been talking to another guy who is pretty much me in man form, and I'm him in lady form; it's weird what all we have in common. We have yet to meet, but our talks are fun.

I guess, in short: I'm getting back out there, and I'm feeling emotionally normal for the first time in two months. I feel like I'm in a better place faster because I actually dealt with the break up and made my feelings known, and that's awesome; I couldn't wait to feel normal again.

Alrighty, I'm out! <3

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