12/13/2012

Women's Rights

Women are human beings. We have the same feelings and the same thoughts as men. We are equal to them in a lot of ways, namely the fact that most of us actually enjoy having sex once we get started. Does this make those of us who can usually not get enough sex any less of an equal than those who don't have any at all? No, it does not.

Whether a woman has lots of sex with lots of partners or a lot of sex with one partner or no sex at all, she is still a human being worthy of respect. Shaming a woman by calling her a slut for actually liking sex and wanting to experience it with as many people as possible is a ridiculous act; you would not shame a man for the same promiscuity, so why treat his equal negatively by labeling her with one of the most shameful words in the human language? I don't know if anyone is actually aware of this, but the amount of a sex any person has is a very personal decision that this person has formed careful opinions about through life experience and feels comfortable following through with. In other words, it is really none of your damn business how much sex anyone, even woman, is having.

I am of the opinion that the word 'slut' when applied to women brings about a very negative connotation. The negativity brought about by this term allows all people to disrespect this type of woman and causes arguements to be formed that if a woman has a lot of sex and gets pregnant or raped as a result that she deserves it. One, how dare you say that anyone deserves to be a victim of one of the most greusome crimes one human can commit against another. Two, that's like saying that someone who gets hit by a car deserves getting run over because they were walking across the street at the time. No person deserves negative things, especially if it's as a result of having sex.

"But what if it's known that she is slut and she gets drunk and willingly goes home with a man? Surely that doesn't count as rape." There are two problems with this sentence. The first is that there are thoughts that drunk women are capable of 'willingly' doing things and being completely aware of them. I don't know about you, but once I get a little alcohol in me I start doing things that aren't too appropriate, and once I get a lot in me I start doing things that would never ever happen in a million years if I were sober. If a woman is at the point of being black out drunk and a man takes advantage of that, it still counts as assault and rape. In this situation, there was no willing second party to make a negative decision on her own; it was all his decision, and he is taking advantage of a state of being that this woman is most likely usually not in.

The second part of that statement is also a large issue. The human language defines rape to mean "the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse." If there is a drunk woman who is not aware of what she is doing and a man takes advantage of it, that is unlawful compelling of a person through duress to have sexual intercourse. Just because she is not raped in a dark alley by a man in a black mask holding a gun to her head does not mean that this woman has not been raped once that man starts having sex with her while incompcitated. The rape is not her fault just because she happens to like sex and/or is drunk beyond the ability to make coherant decisions. There is no "true rape" versus "those slutty girls over there" rape. The difference of the situation does not make the fact that this woman was taken advantage of any different. Rape is rape when it happens to anyone, regardless of how much sex that person likes to have.

On another, not entirely unrelated, note - if a woman gets pregnant as a result of rape or incest, she has the right to decide not to keep the baby. That does not make her a murderer, or an immoral human being. This action makes her human, and unable to bring such a child to term or raise it if it was concieved through one of the most brutally humiliating acts that can happen to a woman. After anyone is raped, there are deep emotional scars that rarely heal all of the way and tend to serve as a constant reminder that this negative thing happened to them. Usually they are left feeling worthless and often times like this attack was their fault. The fact that we label woman as sluts for enjoying sex only perpetuates this thought process. If a baby results out of such an attack, a woman is NOT going to want to bring that child into the world; the story of the conception would be less than pleasant, and if she kept that child she could have a constant reminder about her attack and may grow increasingly bitter and depressed about life.

On a similar note, if woman wants to have an abortion it is none of anyone else's business. As harsh of a reality as this is, it is her body that this tiny human is using as a vessel and, therefore, it is her choice whether or not to keep it. Whatever the circumstances - if she is sixteen and can't support a baby, raped at a party and doesn't want that constant reminder, or a college student who just can not afford a baby and doesn't have anyone else to help her raise it - that woman has the right to decide to have an abortion performed. Does this mean that you have to like it? No, it does not, but the point is that she should not have to care whether or not you do. It is this woman's business what she does with her body, not yours. One person's choice, not millions of people's opinions, matters. Twenty two thousand (22,000) babies are abandoned in hospitals in 1993, and if you go to any credible news website you will find many different articles about how many babies were abandoned this year alone. Though I'm sure that some families who had children could not afford them, other babies who are abandoned are a result of the previously mentioned situations. Either way, a baby is not given a chance at a healthy beginning to life; I fail to see how aborting a baby who is not yet part of this earth is worse than abandoning one who is.

In summary, it is unhealthy for society to label anyone who decides that sex is the most wonderful experience on earth as a slut; it is a dangerous word that leads to human beings associating the opinion that those people are not as worthy as respect as other people. Without the thought that a "slut" is worthy of respect, it leaves the door wide open for men to take advantage of her promiscous nature in many forms, including rape. Stop treating your fellow human beings as inferior just because they make different personal choices than yourself. If people just learned to respect one another, perhaps this world would be quite the different place.

Side Note: To any human being who was a victim of rape, it is not your fault; the person who committed the rape is wholly to blame. You were in a shitty situation that you could not help. Do not be ashamed to bring justice to those who took advantage of you. I am willing to help those who are afraid to come forward take steps to feel comfortable enough to seek help and get the justice that they deserve; no one should be left feeling hopeless for a situation that they could not control.

12/12/2012

50 Things About Me: 2012 Edition

For the past... I don't know how many years, but for a very long time - I've uploaded fifty facts about myself per year so that I can keep up with who I was that year. I know it's a little late, and pretty much two weeks before December ends, but here is the list for this year. Enjoy!

1) I'm still Kimbra

2) I am still four foot eleven and a fourth, though I'm sure others will tell you that I'm five foot exactly. To those people, I say 'thank you!'

3) I am in a relationship with James, and he gets me better than anyone else so far. I'm extremely lucky to have such an amazing guy that wants to be with me always.

4) I have five tattoos.

5) I still have four cats (Tigger, Sandy, Kitty Kitty and Fang), and Kitty Kitty acts as my partner in crime.

6) I have one lovely sister who I have come to appreciate very much; she means the world to me.

7) Right now, I don't have a car.

8) Most of the time, I'm pretty shy and am one of those people who is extremely quiet around other people until she gets comfortable, then I am pretty loud and can get obnoxious.

9) I'm a college graduate, and I received my Associates of the Arts degree in December of 2011.

10) I'm a mixture between being a realist and an idealist.

11) I've decided that I'm agnostic; I've tried a couple of different religions, learned too much, and don't believe in one supreme god.

12) I just turned 24 years old; I know that when I turn 25 I will bawl like a baby.

13) I work at a private preschool and teach fifteen wonderful children.

14) I've become a lot more apathetic about people who leave my life. In fact, I hold the door open for them now and say "Bye! Hope you enjoyed your stay! Glad you can't cause me anymore emotional distress!"

15) Owls are still my favorite animal. Translation: I'm still borderline obsessed with owls.

16) I'm obsessed with keys and keyblades.

17) Purple and white is still my favorite color combination, though the lighter shades fo blue are slowly replacing purple as my favorite color.

18) I'm socially awkward, and in the recent past have gotten pretty strange.

19) I've had people tell me that they were scared to talk to me because apparently I look intimidating, then they got to know me and realized that nothing about me is scary.

20) I have a very odd sense of humor.

21) I have an irrational fear that scientists will eventually be able to bring dinosaurs back to life.

22) I actually have reoccurring nightmares about dinosaurs rampaging my city.

23) I love books and the many adventures they take me on; through books I gain an escape that hands me advice, life lessons, and gain a further understanding about this crazy thing called life.

24) I am still obsessed with Harry Potter, and visit Hogwarts often in all of the ways that I can.

25) I can roll my tongue in three different ways.

26) I cuss like a sailor at home. Does that mean I'm uneducated? No. Does that mean that I use that kind of language at work? Obviously not.

27) I'm honest, but I try to be honest in a way that won't hurt people's feelings; being honest doesn't mean that I have to be a jerk.

28) I have depression and high anxiety, but both are pretty much under control now.

29) I have a jar full of torn pieces of paper with feelings written on them that I want to forget. Obviously I don't go back through and read about those particular feelings.

30) I like to have my own copies of books so that I can highlight and bracket memorable quotes.

31) I have two celebrity crushes; one for Seth Green that has been going strong since middle school, and one for John Green, who is obviously unavailable due to being happily married and having a son.

32) I fall in love with personality and intelligence; I'm not sure that the gender even matters.

33) I don't wear a lot of makeup; as long as I have eyeliner and mascara on, I'm good.

34) I can be pretty lazy, but I rarely like to carve out an entire day to be that way. I usually get restless toward the middle/end of the day and do something productive.

35) I like humans, but dislike humanity.

36) I drift off if a conversation lasts too long; you can see the exact moment that it happens, and I usually end up apologizing and asking for clarification on what they just said.

37) I'm an open book and wear my heart on my sleeve. If I'm feeling something as a direct result of something that you've said or done, you will be made aware in the boldest way possible.

38) I'm in a not-taking-people's-crap kind of mood lately; I'm just not dealing with it anymore.

39) I'm easily walked all over because of how nice I try to be. If you take advantage of it, you will be told very boldly to fuck off.

40) Though many adults I know have problems, I have a softer spot for children and teens who do; I get sad that their life is just beginning yet they've had such a rough start.

41) I know there isn't enough room in my heart to care about everyone every second of every day, so I don't.

42) Sometimes I just like to turn my phone off and hang out with my sister, or deal with the rocky hand that life has dealt me.

43) I'm an introverted people watcher, but that doesn't mean that I don't crave adventure.

44) I am very spontaneous and impulsive. I will go to WalMart at 3 a.m. for no other purpose than to walk around, or organize my books/movies because I suddenly decided that they were bothering me.

45) I've gotten pretty obsessive compulsive when it comes to things being in alphabetical order; I can't stand for them to be out of that specific order.

46) Despite my age, I'm a huge kid at heart and get overly excited about the smallest of things.

47) I think that I'm pretty, but thanks to America's societal standards I don't see myself as "beautiful" a lot of the time.

48) It is a dream of mine to have a novel published and sold; I'm in the middle of editing three right now.

49) I'm working on living a life that I am completely okay with.

50) My ideal partner (though I think I've found him, finally!) is someone that I can share every aspect of my life with, and who sees the darkness in me and loves me despite that darkness.

12/02/2012

Alive and Well

I kind of dropped off of the blogging-face-of-the-earth for awhile because I've been super busy with work and this amazing guy that has captivated my heart. We started dating in October, toward the beginning, and I decided on October 14 to try this whole relationship thing with him. So far, I love it. He's very good to me and we get along really well. He saw through my meanness and got to the compassionate person underneath. He has somehow managed to tear down most of my barriers, and for that I am grateful. He is a kind soul and, though he gets frustrated with me from time to time, is super understanding. He accepts me for exactly who I am, flaws and all, and he makes it easy to accept him for who he is. I am extremely comfortable around him, and excited that I found someone that seems to click with me so well.

I may have found someone that is crazy about me, and I him, but I still have reservations that he is completely aware of. I'm still scared that we won't work, even though we're working very well. I still doubt that I'm cut out for a relationship because I react very strongly to things that should not matter. I realize that it will take time for me to stop being this way, but for now I am grateful that I am with a man who understands that better than I do and accepts me despite being slightly worried that I may one day bail on him.

Other than all of that, I've seen a few friends here and there, saw my family for Thanksgiving, and wrote 50,000 words in the month of November and have to finish the novel that I was working on in order to get my free proof copies. I have this week off and get to snuggle with my cat well into the afternoon every day and see my man quite a bit and possibly see my grandma... I'm super excited to rest up this week and get ready to actually want to be at work. I needed a small break.

I suppose that's all. I will update sooner than in a few months. Bye!

<3